To Hide A Wound

Chapter 9

" What are you talking about?" He said, I wouldn't assume that he was unaware of the things I said, if not for his ignorant reaction.

" No, nothing." Even though I said that a sense of suspicion didn't leave his face. As if he became aware of my trouble. And he continued his stares upon me as if he was trying to find something valuable on my face.

You're not gonna find anything, bro!
Just stop staring.

But Why was he looking desperately for Jackson?

" First it was Matthew, and now it's Jackson. What the hell are you thinking inside your brain? I don't quite get it."

" Relax! I won't hesitate to harm Matthew. But it's different for Jackson, you don't need to worry about that. I am pretty harmless to him." 

" As if I would believe you again. I can't trust you again."

He didn't reply, but instead, the only thing he did was to watched my display of resentment in stillness and listened to my abusive words. Looking at his personality he was the type who wouldn't tolerate others to overpower him, hence I was expecting something that was a nasty response from him, but strangely he didn't. But Why?

Even after I lashed out at him, he was finely composed in his stature. He looked unaffected by my harsh words. He doesn't even care.
He didn't step away from my sight when I give him the hints. and so I have to be the one who has to move a bit. I walked past him and set my route in search of Matthew.
After lashing out at Nolan I feel something was soaring inside me. Like something was weeping inside my heart, but the identity of the pain was unknown. I should have controlled my temper and prevent myself from frustration. I don't wanna lashed out at someone or have any arguments with him in the first place.

But he did the unforgivable things.

But still, I don't want to hold a grudge against the person who was once a friend.

I looked in every corner to find Matthew. But I only met unwanted people to be certain. And at last, I sat on a wooden bench when my toes were agonizing from tiredness as well as my shoulders started to lose their composure. The shade of the tree shelter my body from the burning sun, and the breeze strokes my skin that was engulfed in sweat, so soothing. I leaned on the bench; Positioning my chin towards the sky I said to myself.

" I am pathetic."

" Exhausted."

Nolan plopped his bag on the bench and sat next to me. His composure of the body kinda appeared to be in a very comfortable state. At a times I wonder how can he feel his heart at bay by sitting next to me?

" Looking for Matthew." He said.

My eyes widen." How do you know that?"

Why is he asking me? Was I right? Did he know something?

" Your face tells everything." He said, gazing at me in a teasing manner.

" Is it so easy to read my face?"

" Nah, it's just the reasons is crystal clear."

" Hey, Nolan! I think I shouldn't have lashed out at you. I am kinda sorry."

" Why are you even apologising? Do you wanna make me miserable by acting this way? Pretty disgusting though." He said.

" Nolan!" I yelled.

" I tell you this once again. Semerin! You should stop looking for Matthew. He isn't what you think, he isn't what he is showing to you, he isn't what the others think. "

" And why are you saying all these things?"

He gazed deeply at me, without uttering anything he leaned his head over the back of the bench and looked towards the sky." Maybe because I sympathised with you, you will be tremendously hurt when he will murder your expectations, without any mercy."

" I don't get it. Why do you hate Matthew so much? What has he done that makes you so upset that you're going that far to make him miserable."

" Why can't you be normal with him? Why do you hold such extreme resentment towards him? You know, people are taking you to be a vicious person. I know you're not that of a horrible person."

" Even though I can act good for your sake, I can't keep going on. I'll be frank, I can't stand him smiling. Piece by piece of my happiness starts vanishing on seeing his smile. Now tell me what should I do?"

" So you're envious of his happiness."

He didn't reply. So I was right.

" Well, envy isn't the only reason, am I right? There is something harsher than jealousy that you feels right? You keep on saying that he is unimaginable, but should I be judgemental? Why won't you exactly tell me what happened between you two?"

" That's a thing between us, you don't need to bother."

I don't need to bother. Why shouldn't I be bothered? Both of them aren't stranger. Do they even care about the people around them? Do they even care how anxious I became to hold onto them from collapsing? Matthew would just give me a cold look, and indifferent gazes whenever I asked him. And here Nolan would push me away if I stepped in.

Both of them are just no better than a selfish beast.

I get up and walked towards somewhere that I don't even know.

" Matthew doesn't deserve to have such a nice person like you." I heard Nolan voice from behind.

He thinks I am a nice person. A smile blooms over my face. I immediately turned back, he was just as relaxed as before, finely sitting over the bench like it was considered a fine spot for relaxation.

" I don't know who deserves whom," I said. But I must say his eyes were drawn in amazement when I delivered that. For some unknown reason, he didn't discourage me any further and composed himself in a devastating silence. I left him, assuming that he needed time for his mind to settle down.

A live-less leaf landed on his nose that came into him floating in the air. He looked at the leaf not with the type of eyes that were filled with amusement, or any spark of joy or annoyance rather it was filled in an emotionless charm.

"  Looks like I can't convince her." He said to himself.
After that, he pulled the leaf lying on his nose and throw it away at the ground. He looked at it with a dark grim sparkling in his eyes, and stepped on the leaf, mashing it under his hard shoes, crushing it into pieces.

" Now that's better." He smiled. After crushing the leaf. only an insane person would be capable enough to pull off a smile, and then he left the place carrying his bag behind his shoulder. The crumbled pieces of the leaf lying over the ground. Until a wind passes there and swept it away with it, but not all the pieces, it was able to sweep away only those that were smaller and lighter than the wind. But what about the other pieces?