Time heals everything, right?

Beginnings are always tough

I came up with this somehow, I don't remember how but it makes me feel smart so we'll roll with it.

May seem sad in the beginning but it might get better... you'll never know ;)

If time heals everything I think my clock got smashed with a sledge hammer and doesn't work anymore.

For every sorrow or loss, you always have that one person telling you "time will heal everything" or "It takes time for things to get better" I'm here to tell you that they are very wrong, time really does the opposite, it makes you ache more. Loss of a family member or pet, loss of a valuable, loss of happiness, loss of sanity, or in my case I lost someone I held dear to my heart over a breakup, time only makes you want that special person or object even more. Everyday you wonder what went wrong or how you could've changed things to make things A-Okay.

If you don't know what it feels to have a breakup, I envy you. I envy the inexperience of pain. I'll give you a brief description of how it feels... it feels like someone ripped your heart right from your very chest, they start squeezing it, the pressure feels almost too much to bare, the hand squeezes tighter when you think of that person, almost as if telling you that person was your everything and you just simply let go, like you didn't try hard enough to keep them. Almost every little thing reminds you of your ex-lover. You just want the pain to go away but the hand never stops squeezing, you beg for it to let go, you feel trapped...

My breakup between my ex-boyfriend and I wasn't even that bad... well that was until we started yelling at each other and name calling, then it went from bad to worse. I believe we both said things that we didn't mean, but I could be totally wrong.

Everyday I still wake up expecting to see him laying next to me deep asleep or him playing with my hair, every morning I'm disappointed. Sometimes I stupidly look at the wooden table by my bed looking for a love note or maybe an apology letter written in the fancy writing that I had known to love, I'm always let down, my heart always sinking.

I would give anything to rewind a clock to go back to the day before and fix things, I would give anything to go back to the evening of the fight and do my best to keep my ex-lover mood afloat and easy to handle.

I know it was foolish of me to think a relationship with a Greek God would be perfect, you can't be mad at me for trying. The God treated me well, I did the same to him. A lot of my friends were shocked when I told them we had broken up, I was shocked as well. Let me tell you the night of the breakup was rough for me, I think that was the most tears I have ever shed.

The days after we split-up I wouldn't go outside, I didn't want to risk him seeing me. Petty of me really. It didn't take me very long to see that the sun seemed more dull than it normally did, I thought it was just me seeing things but Grover told me he saw it too.

It's almost been four months since that fatal day, I rather go through the second titan war and the second giant war than go through that spilt-up again.

Sometimes I wish that Annabeth and I were still friends, we also had a messy breakup, our close bond had never been healed since. I could call her but I think she's still embarrassed or mad that her ex-boyfriend is gay... I mean yes I feel bad but in my defense I felt a tad bit pressured into the relationship and at the time I didn't know how hot men were. When Athena had heard about what happened she was livid and hated me much more than she already did before.

Mom, dad, and my stepdad, Paul, were all worried for me, they still are. Poseidon was livid as well, this time at Apollo, blaming him for breaking my heart. Little 5-year-old Estelle didn't understand what was happening but she knew that it had to do with Apollo. She tried to help me but it was hard when she didn't know the reason for my sadness.

I could hardly keep up with my college work and part time job, I still barely have my head above water at the moment! College was harder to me than high school ever was, that's really only because my professors talk so fast where I can't understand them, my dyslexia didn't help that either.

I don't go to camp anymore, I'm done with Gods, besides a certain blond one... he can stay.

I just wish I knew if Apollo wanted me back or not. Maybe he was out cruising in the Bahamas with chicks at his side, I don't know. I wish I did though.

That wasn't too bad was it? Hopefully I didn't make you too sad. (I'm not hating on Annabeth on this either)

I had fun writing this chapter, I have no clue why, but it was easy to write. MY OTHER STORY WILL STILL HAVE UPDATES, well if nothing pops up.

Review! It helps since this is the first chapter, helps me understand if you like it so far! :) (this isn't a very long story, only a few chapters or so)