The Cue Of Our Love. - Who Made Me A Princess (wmmap)

38- I Like You.

"Jeanette, I also forgot to mention something." Athanasia spoke from the other side of the phone.

Jeanette turned to her phone and looked at Athanasia through the phone. "What's up? Is there something you also did that I'm unaware of?" Jeanette chuckled and sat up straight.

Athanasia gazed down at the lap before slowly raising her head. "Sometimes... just sometimes, or at least I'd like to believe that sometimes I wish you were dead." It slipped out of her mouth before she can reword it into a nicer sentence. She slapped her hands on her mouth and her eyes widened as she stared at her cousin who was staring right at her. "Fuck, this isn't how I wanted to word it-"

"Don't worry. I felt the same way. I was just shocked you also felt like that... because I'm not amazing like you." Jeanette muttered the last part but it was audible because both rooms were silent. "I also sometimes wished you were... gone." She tapped her table nervously and let out a sigh. "It's just that... when you enter a room, all eyes are on you and you become the center of attention. Everybody loves and adores you and forget about my existence... it's like I'm your shadow, you know? Some people don't even know my name, they just call me 'Athanasia's cousin'. It hurts when you're not known for yourself but for other people. Would you be happy if you were called I don't know... hm... Jeanette's cousin, let's say. You'll be known for my achievements rather than yours... it's heart wrenching.. so yes, I did sometimes wish you were gone so I'll be know as Jeanette and not Athanasia's cousin." Jeanette bit the inside of her lip and kept avoiding to look at Athanasia.

The blonde stayed silent for a little while, trying to process everything that her cousin had just said. "I.. holy shit- this just... oh my god." Her eyes widened, she broke down laughing, not knowing how to act.

"Why are you laughing...?" Jeanette asked, getting worried for her cousin. "I just told you I wished you were dead and you're laughing...? Athanasia, you have been weird this whole day I'm getting concerned." Jeanette said.

"It's because, I, sometimes wished you were gone too." Athanasia started right into Jeanette after claiming down.

Jeanette furrowed her eyebrows. "Why would you wish I were gone when you're literally the definition of perfect?" Jeanette sometimes never understood her cousin and how her mind worked because for Jeanette Athanasia was a role model. If perfect were to be a person, it would be her cousin.

"I may seem perfect to you, but I'm not perfect. I lack a lot of things. However, you enter a room and everyone is laughing. You make people laugh so easily and I just admire that about you. Sometimes I feel like I'm not enough, you know? I may be what people call perfect but I don't think so. You're able to make people laugh and smile by your presence. I'm sorry that I did not realize it sooner that you felt like you were my shadow when, I, myself look up to you too." Athanasia shared her perspective, fiddling with her finger the whole time she spoke.

Jeanette, stunned, she could not believe her ears. The person she looked up to also looked back up at her. "How foolish of us, ha? We only have each other..." She spoke in a low, hushed tone, hoping that her phone picked up her voice.

"Mhm... I guess, those feelings got over our heads." Athanasia gave her a bitter smile, then looking away and scratching the back of her neck. "We should be more honest with each other, don't you think? You're closer to me than a cousin, more like a sister." Athanasia said, stealing a glance.

Jeanette laughed at a thought that crossed her mind. "I remember when we promised each other to be transparent with each other. Guess we broke that promise... want to make a new promise that we won't break this time?" A hopeful smile was plastered across her face; it was a warm and genuine one.