Unwritten Words

To Jacob

I remember when we first met. I was sitting in the cafeteria, eating my dinner. From my designated little table on the wall, I could see as the darkness claimed our college for the evening. Lampposts lit up and caste their glow on the sidewalk below. A person or two would thank it for it's light as they trudged down the path to study. 

I had a  sandwich in my hands--toasted salami and turkey topped with cheese, lettuce, and garlic mayonnaise; the order that I got so much the sandwich lady had it memorized.  And although, I sat alone, I was perfectly content. I had made it a habit really. My friends, like most college students, ate when they wanted. Sometimes at six, sometimes at midnight. Whenever homework and socializing and starvation allowed. But me? No. I love food too much. I had to eat at designated times. Or the hunger would get to my head. 

So I found myself where I always was around five or six: at my table by the window, eating my sandwich alone. Sometimes if I was lucky, someone I knew would pop around to say hello. I did not expect you, though. 

The classic description of you right-off-the-bat was emo. Or punk? One of the two. Clothes in your closet tended to not drift past dark blue, a majority of them being black. With your ripped black jeans, pierced ears, and backward hat, you easily stood out in my living complex. But you kept mostly to yourself, so I never bothered to talk with you. Neither did I think I'd want to. 

Not that you looked threatening. You just...stayed away from me and my circle of friends. I had claimed them as my people and I really didn't think I needed anyone else. 

Then you came to my table.

It took me aback not gonna lie. Seeing you standing there, innocently. Food tray in hand. Blue eyes trained on me in a questioning manner. 

"Can I sit with you?"

"Uh..." Hastily chews my food in my mouth. "Yeah, of course."

You took your seat across from me. I watched you, curiously. 

You started eating, and explained how you were trying to get out, and meet people. How I got lucky enough for you to be interested in sitting with me, I have no idea. But we started talking. 

It was an odd conversation, I remember. And I remember loving every second of it. I believe there was a moment we talked about dinosaurs, and what our greatest fear was. Definitely not your average first-conversation, but I prefer things being weird anyway. So I was okay with it. 

In fact, after we parted--having finished our dinner and walked back to the dorms--I ran to my friends and instantly exclaimed, "Guess what just happened?"

One turned from the couch, an eyebrow raised. "What?"

"I just had dinner with Jacob!"

"What?"

"Wait, really?" came another, looking up from her textbook.

"Yeah! And it was actually incredible! He's so cool!" I explained, a smile plastered onto my face and hurting my cheeks. I gushed over you for the next couple minutes before the topic died down. 

But that moment replayed it's way into my head several times afterwards. It was like I felt it in my soul, a song proclaiming beautifully that this was the beginning of something. 

And it was. 

Now it's been about three years since that lovely night. It's been about 10ish months since I last saw you. And it's been four months since we last talked. In the middle of the night. You never did have a decent sleep schedule. Sometimes I wonder if you really are a vampire with that pale skin of yours. 

I miss you.

Love, L