Forsaken

Part 6 (Chanyeol's POV)

It wasn't that Chanyeol hated game nights. He loved them. They were one of the only times the group could let loose and be dumb. He thought back to the last one, and boy was it a mess. He remembered Jongin breaking one of the lamps when he was practicing a kick, and Yixing had sat in the corner holding a stuffed unicorn while singing to it. Chanyeol still had the video as proof. He also remembered that the two of you ended up making out for most of the night, which just reminded him of why he didn't want to be here.

Everyone had already started drinking by the time you had arrived. Daeun, who was a lightweight, was already drunk. Her eyes going crossed when she tried to talk to him. She passed out not long after that, so Chanyeol carried her into his room and laid her on the bed. His room was stuffy, so he opened the window, letting her get some much needed fresh air. When he went back into the living room, he decided to take a seat away from the group and just chill out by himself for a while.

Everyone was getting more and more obnoxious as the night progressed, and Chanyeol swore if he heard Baekhyun yell Taehyung's name one more time, he was going to throw something at him.

He was fine sitting by himself, downing alcohol like water. It was making him forget everything important. He leaned back, staring at the ceiling, contemplating life. A year ago, he was in this exact chair, with you in his lap. How different things were... He shook his head to clear those thoughts.

"Let's play Truth or Dare." Chanyeol groaned. Why? Why did Satansoo want to play Truth or Dare? What the hell was he up to?

"Chanyeol, you in?" Minseok asked.

You know what? Fuck it. "Yeah, why not?"

Chanyeol barely paid attention to the game, only gaining interest when Kyungsoo made Jongin and Jia kiss. Jongin was in love with Jia. He just hadn't figured it out himself yet. He was watching the two, wondering if Jongin was going to ask her out, and hoping he made better decisions than Chanyeol did. He was rooting for them until Jongin called out his name.

"Chanyeol! Truth or dare?" Hmm... truth or dare?

"Truth."

"If you could tell a secret to someone in this room, who and what would it be?" Damn, maybe he should've picked dare.

He thought about it for a moment. Maybe this was his chance to make things right with you. Or maybe, he would mess things up even more, but really, how could anything else get more messed up at this point?

"Y/N... I would tell Y/N I loved her a year ago."

Chanyeol heard a couple of gasps, but all he focused on was your eyes. You looked shocked, and really Chanyeol felt shocked. He didn't know what he was going to say, but he wasn't expecting that to come out. He watched you as your face went red. You got up, saying something about needing air. Then, Chanyeol watched as Junmyeon got up and followed you before he could even get himself to move.

He was aware that the rest of the members were staring at him. Some with wide eyes and open mouths, and some with caution. Not sure why he would bring that up or where he was going to go with it. Chanyeol was debating if he should go out there and talk to you or if he should give you some space.

He looked around the room and caught Sehun's eyes. Sehun tilted his head toward the balcony, signaling for him to go out there and talk to you. He looked over at Jia next, and he could see in her expression that if he didn't go out and talk to you, she would drag him out there.

Chanyeol stood up, took a deep breath, and walked out onto the balcony. He watched as you slowly turned around and met his eyes.

"Can we talk?"

Junmyeon spoke up from your side. "Maybe you should wait until your both sober."

Chanyeol knew that was probably smart, but he ignored the older man anyway. "Please Y/N. I have to get this off my chest."

Junmyeon attempted to stop him again, but Chanyeol cut him off, throwing respect out the window.

"No offense, hyung, but I'm not talking to you." He said, turning towards Junmyeon.

"It's okay, Myeon. I want to talk to him."

Chanyeol wasn't sure if you said that to save him from the pissed off look his leader was giving him or because you actually wanted to talk. Either way, it worked. After Junmyeon went back inside, Chanyeol moved towards the railing on the balcony, next to you.

You spun on him before he could collect his thoughts. "What the hell was that?"

"I'm sorry. I had to say it. I needed to tell you the truth." He wasn't really sorry, and he could tell you knew that.

"How come you never told me?" And here we go, time to fess up.

"I knew I was going to be away for a while, so I was gonna wait until I came back, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized I didn't want to mess up our friendship. You're too important to me, and I didn't want to take the chance of ruining that." He laughs. "But that's exactly what I did anyway."

Finally having it out in the open felt so good. He wanted to confess more.

"I miss you so much." He whispered. "It's not fair that we can't be friends."

You were quiet for a moment, probably processing everything he had just dumped on you.

"Do you still? Love me?" You asked quietly.

He closed his eyes. "Yeah... I do..." He responded, just as quiet. "I think about what we would be like together. I know we'd be perfect."

"Then why are you with Daeun?" He opened his eyes. There it was. He couldn't tell you the truth. He barely knew the truth himself at this point. All he knew was that he didn't want to drag you into more of his mess, so he lied to you. Again.

"I love her more... I'm sorry..."

The look on your face was something he never wanted to see again. It was like someone physically struck you, and it made Chanyeol want to die right there. He felt sick to his stomach, wanting to take it back, but knowing that now it was out there, there was no going back.

He helplessly watched as you ran back inside. He followed behind you, but you were fast. You were already at the door before he was fully inside the room. He started to go after you but stopped when he saw Baekhyun get to you first. Again. Like always. He was always fucking there.

Chanyeol heard people asking him what the hell happened, but he tuned them all out. Going back to his seat and grabbing a cup full of alcohol, he downed it and continued like that for the rest of the night.