"Camp here. We leave once the sun rises."
It was about the 30th time I heard him say that.
I quickly stumbled to the floor, I had been feeling so dead inside.
It's been a month. A month of this torture. A month since Marco had died , a month since I had seen anyone else.
Erwins squad was always ahead of all other squads. The others would probably reach us here when we would leave.
Yet some from other squads would reach us if needed.
"Arai"
"You're Arai...right?"
I looked up
It was a girl.
I think I had seen her around a few times.
I got up from the floor, wiping off the dirt.
"Why do you ask" I said coldly.
Truthfully, it wasn't my intention to sound so mean, but I didn't care anymore.
Her smile grew wider, even her eyes sparkled.
Why is she happy? how can she be any happy during this hell?
"I'm in the same squad as Levi"
My eyes widened.
My heart ached everytime I heard his name.
"He told me to make sure you doing...well...decent enough"
"Why couldn't he come himself" I came closer to her. How badly I wished it were him here.
Even if I had been so cold to her, she still seemed so positive.
How could anyone keep a smile on their face during a time like this.
"He's the leader, he couldn't leave his squad even for a second. You never know what'll happen" She nervously chuckled
I wanted to ask her so many questions...
How was Levi, is he hurt, are my friends safe?
But I couldn't.
I couldn't bring myself to.
"I guess i'll be going now, i'll make sure to tell him your still strong Arai."
She turned around , getting ready to swing by the trees.
I hesitated.
"Wait."
She stopped in her tracks.
It was time.
"Do you think you can...give this to the captain?"
I pulled out the envelope. By now it was torn up, muddy, all crumbled up, since it had been in my pocket ever since.
She opened her mouth, thinking of what to say.
Before just smiling.
"Of course"
I held out the envelope for her.
I watched as she slowly took it.
I finally let go of that stupid letter.
I felt so...free
"I'll make sure to bring it to him as fast as I can!" She cheered
And with that, she was gone.
I couldn't even catch her name.
She wasn't lying when she said as fast as she can.
Part of me felt relieved, he would finally know how I felt, I wasn't holding it in anymore.
Another part of me felt like it was too late. At this point it was even a miracle he had remembered me.
"Please...hurry" I whispered
