shadow of yourself | Bobby (JATP)

chapter 3

Having waited for Joshua for over an hour, I took my stuff and left the library. This seemed like a good choice, as only a couple of hours later as I entered my dorm, where he was banging his girlfriend, I closed the door before they could even think that I had seen the horrible sight.

I decided to go to the school's payphone instead, finally getting the courage to call my mother. I played with the phone cord as I stood inside the school's telephone box, filled with drawings and markings on the walls. The cord was stiff and felt rubbery as my fingers nervously rubbed it.

"Yes Ma, she is great" I lied, as Mother had asked about my roommate, I didn't want her to be even more disappointed about me choosing to study art, to only let her get good ideas about me trying to get Joshua back. No, I needed to move forward, and telling my mother about my former boyfriend, would only make it worse.

As we had talked for an hour I finally hung up the phone, to let the next student who did not seem pleased with me, take it. I took a deep breath and decided to place myself on a bench under a cherry tree while getting ready for the coming winter.

As I placed myself underneath it, I took out my sketching book and coloring pencils, beginning to draw the branches which were above me. When the night time had fallen I could fall asleep in my bed, trying my best to ignore the snoring of Joshua laying beside Nathalie on the other side of the room.

It's not that I still loved Joshua, I was happy for him, I was happy that he had found someone new, but my brain kept running, how did they meet? Is she a rebound or true love? All I want is for him to be happy.

The week went by rather quickly, the classes were good, even though I had a few with Joshua who wasn't pleased to see me there. Before I knew it was finally the weekend and after a week of studying and learning new phrases about painting and new colors, I treated myself to a cup of coffee, I smiled at the buzz cutted boy, as he handed me my latte.

I placed myself at the counter, sitting on the chair as I played with my pencil beginning to draw the boy making coffee, as the last customer had been served, his attention went to me.

"Is that me?" He smiled, his teeth were white and his eyes almost amazed me as I nodded showing him the drawing. "Do you like it?" Drying his hand in the apron he was wearing, he nodded which made me stop worrying and smile.

"It's beautiful, you're very talented, I'm in the dance program so drawing is not my personal style " He answered as I almost burned my tongue on the coffee, it was warm and tasted even better than last time. " I normally paint... and it's normally buildings and not people'' He licked his lips and shrugged.

"Well, it's always great to break the norm of yourself" His words made me smile as I nodded slowly. "I'm Samuel" He chuckled as he placed back the sketchbook in front of me. "Kimora" As I spoke my name, the bell from the door was heard.

"Sam, please please please make me a black coffee" I recognized the voice, which almost made me want to vomit as I looked to my side, seeing the black-haired boy. His eyes caught mine as a smirk formed over his lips.

"Artie!?... You aren't stalking me are you?" He winked at me, making me close my sketchbook, as Samuel began making the coffee, you could see the confused face even from the counter. "I was here first" I answered, he nodded as he placed a chocolate bar on the counter as well, getting ready to pay. "If you say it Artie" - I rolled my eyes, which was something I normally didn't do but my eyes could seem to stay in one place when the smell of his cheap cologne.

"Well Sam is nice to talk to, he likes the crazy girls too" He eyed me up and down as I sat in my blue mom jeans, which I had painted on, and my rainbow crop top. "You seem like his type" He paid and left, within seconds.

"Are you friends with him?" I snapped at Samuel, which for sure made him jump a little, he laughed and shook his head. I closed my eyes and licked my bottom lip as I calmed myself. "What the Californian? Nah... " I smiled looking at him. Samuel chuckled and shook his head.

"He comes here every day, always wearing those headphones and that black notebook of his, he only knows my name because a colleague told him"

I nodded as I drank my coffee. "I have actually never seen him with anyone, surprised he knows you"
something inside me felt rather odd by this statement as I focused my eyes back on Sam's. "You telling me, he has no one... at all? " He slowly shook his head.

"What's his name?"

Samuel shrugged as he threw away my coffee cup which was now empty. "I have no idea" I lifted an eyebrow. "Hey, I told you he only knows mine from a colleague... I have never asked for his"

Something inside me told me something was wrong, like a warning sign or red lights, that I should probably stay away from people like him.... Therefore I of course made it my mission to try and find him, and indeed after photography, I found the black-haired boy sitting at the same bench I had the day prior, he was sitting with a black broken down notebook, writing something down.

His hair was messy and you could see, he hadn't been able to sleep that night. His gaze seemed uneasy, however as I placed myself beside him, that uneasy gaze went away.

"What's your name?" I asked, he looked up from the notebook, not pleased by being disturbed while writing, he didn't answer but instead lifted an eyebrow looking at me, before looking back at his notebook.

"I haven't seen you with anyone, and no one seems to know you?" I asked, he chuckled and looked back into my eyes, something about him made my back get sweaty and my throat choke. "You are stalking me Artie" He smiled, yet I could see past it.... it was fake.

"You don't seem to have any friends," I said coldly, crossing my arms,

He sighed as he answered: "I have Sam"
"Sam doesn't even know your name"

"I don't do friends, "

He continued looking down at his book. "Well I find that rather sad, maybe even pathetic" I answered, leaning my back against the bench. "I mean everyone deserves friends"

He side-eyed me and shook his head before looking up at me fully, his facial expression didn't seem happy by the choice of spilling my opinion out on him. "What about you Artie, I don't seem to find you with any friends either"

Him spilling out his opinion did seem to find me quiet as well, I took a deep breath as I stretched my back. "I don't need friends... " I answered, making him shake his head as he closed his black notebook. "Isn't that even more pathetic?"

I almost gulped, he was right. Even though I had tried to befriend at least Nathalie she did not seem happy by that choice I had made and if she could have me move out I am sure I would already be living in another dorm.

"Depends" I simply answered, he rolled his eyes at me, rather rudely. "What's your name, Artie?" The nickname was definitely not the type of relationship I thought he and I had, but I cleared my throat and straightened my back.

"Kimora Huang, and for your information, I am not pleased by that nickname" He licked his lips with a soft smile on them as he nodded putting out his hand, which made me notice his bracelets.

"Bobby, Bobby Willson" I hesitated but ended up shaking his hand as our eyes didn't for a minute burn into each other.

"Bobby huh?" He nodded and took back his hand. "Don't get too used to saying my name, Artie" I felt a poking in my stomach as he said that nickname once again. "I told you I don't like to be called that"

He looked over at me with a lifted eyebrow before nodding. "Okay... Well then 'Huang', Take it easy" and with that, he stood up, put on his black headphones, and started listening to music, which I most assume was nothing else than Green Day and other bad rock bands with his type of clothing.

And with that he left, leaving me to sit alone on the bench, falling into the crowd of college students heading to class. For some reason that I could not explain, I couldn't keep a smile away from my face. "Bobby Willson.... you are something huh?" 

"Who's the emo?" I looked to my side where the spot Bobby had just used now was refilled by a blonde-haired Joshua. "Do you care?" I asked as I took to my sketchbook, he sighed as his hands were in his jean jacket's pocket. His hair was sat taller than usual with his hair gel and he had used his nice cologne.

"Of course I do, I mean I would want to know if Europe changed your taste, which it has if that's your first lover after me," He said, his voice was so confident, that it made me nauseous. "Who said he would be my first?"

Something went over Joshua's face, a face that I knew too well... a face of disbelief filled with disappointment. He was hurt by this statement of mine.

"I see you and my roommate are having fun however" I answered as he didn't say a word, he nodded with a smile. "Yeah... she is something" I found myself smiling. "I'm happy you are happy"

Joshua shook his head as he stood up. "Listen... I don't care who you are going to have pity sex with but ... something is odd with that dude, everyone knows that"

I didn't seem bothered by his words, even though he was right. Something did seem rather odd by Bobby, maybe it was his emo clothes with his fuckboy aesthetic of a personality, that didn't seem to fit, and everything inside me told me to let him go, let him be just another guy who I walked by on campus, but another part of me knew, he would be my new start on Morteinvitam.