complicated

happiness

I had this famous dream of mine again, but it was waaayy diferent than the other times.. he kissed me back and said he loves me..it was just a dream but it made my heart feel like- like I can't even tell..

jake made me wake up, he kept touching me, it was so annoying, I said,

"what do you want?" but with a soft voice.

"mom's about to wake up and I don't think she would like to see you two cuddling on the couch." ooohh shit, totally forgot about that..

I got up and kissed duncan on the cheek. I went to my room and layed on my bed,pretend like I was sleeping. mom came to check on me and I think I tricked her. yay me? and when she closed the door, I continued my beauty sleep, tehe.

when I woke up again, I ran to downstairs. there was just duncan cooking in the kitchen and the kids and mom headed out and- duncan in the kitchen? cooking? yeah that was suprising. I walked to him and hugged him from back.

"morning sunshine"

"morning pumpkin, what are you doing?"

"cooking, I can cook too you know. I feed your brothers now you."

"k mom" we giggled, god,  I love his giggle.

we ate breakfast, it was our free day so no school. and tomorrow it's the dance thing. duncan normally wouldn't go but miss cit forced him to. so selfish. we were talking and making jokes. just two of us, like a dream. but I need to wake up, I can't keep doing this to our already complicated relationship.  he stand up while saying,

"I should probably talk to my family maybe I can do something."

"you should, I hope it goes well." I smiled, I was trying to make him happy but I really don't know how to..

duncan came back couple hours after he left. he was smiling so I'm guessing he figured everything out. he hugged me and said he's going to stay for dinner and go to his house after.

my mom and kids come from school and work and they brought chicken for dinner, I love chicken wings, haha. anyways we were eating and something happened. houses phone started to ring, jake opened it and yelled,

"gwen, it's for you, from um- trent?" my mom looked at me and duncan and asked

"who's trent?"

"some weird nerd from school" duncan was laughing, I rolled my eyes then took the phone.

"what's up?"

"hi gwen, I just wanted to ask something you know. I was calling you since yestersay but you didn't pick up. that's okay anyways, since I'm new here, I don't know many girls or guys, I was gonna ask you if you would like to-.. go to the party with me?"

"oh- um... that was unexpected.." I was frozen, literally

"um it's okay if you don't want to.." he sounded so sad, like he was so energetic then his mood just- ooof- jumped off a cliff or something, I'm not really good at expressing my feelings.

"no, no-... I would love that"

"really?! thank you for not making fun of me or anything"

"it's okay, soo... I'm kinda eating dinner and-"

"yeah, yeah cool see you tomorrow then"

"see ya" I gave the phone back to jack and everyone was staring at me.

"what does he want?" duncan asked.

"he ask me out to the dance tomorrow, and I said yes." shocker. my mom was happy about it but duncan just kept making fun of it. when he left it hit my head, I wasn't thinking of going so I didn't had anything to wear...... I told my mom about it and she said the stores would be empty since it's the night before halloween. so she had one costume in her closet. better than no costume.

she went to her room and I was waiting in mine, she brought this ladybug costume of mine but I wore that like years ago and really? ladybug?

"I don't know, will that even fit on me?

"it will, and no other options."

when she left I tried it on, it really fit but it wasn't my style, so I thought I could make it look like my style. for hours some paints, scissors, even some glue and glitter. it was like a school project. after spending hours, it looked kinda great but slutty. I like it.

in the morning, my phone was blowing up, trent had my number from dj and he kept texting me, I get it he's excited. I asked duncan to make it like a double date and drive trent and I to the dance he didn't wanted to but for some reason he changed his mind. and bridgett kept asking me what I'm going to wear, I couldn't say that I'm going to be a ladybug, so I let it be a suprise.

I started getting ready at 4 pm I guess, I didn't checked. I painted my blue hairs to red but a bloody red. that took so long. I put the costume on but it was kinda short and I kept thinking about what's going to happen if I don't have that confidence?

I put a long jacket on and went downstairs, I was waiting for other to come here so we would go together.

I heard the doorbell, finally!

it was duncan and courtney, duncan was dressed as a serial killer with a mask. and courtney is..- I don't know it looks like regular courtney but with a longer skirt and glasses.

"what are you supposed to be?" i asked.

"I'm a president?! what about you? are you like a-.. a gothic vampire or something?" I smirked and didn't even bother to answer. then trent knocked the door and came in.

"hey guys!"

my mom jumped in with a big hello.

"gwendolyn why don't you show your costume to you friends? it's not cold take that jacket off." she took my jacket from me and I kinda felt embarrassed, when I looked at them, they looked shocked.

"a ladybug?" courtney was trying to make fun but it was just her, guys looked pretty interested.

"you look nice gwen!" trent was being nice as usual. duncan gave me a wink instead of saying anything. I laughed.

when we arrived to the party, it was pretty crowded and music was SICK! party planners were our friends. duncan and I looked at eachother as courtney was growling.

"I cant even hear myself?!"

"I'm going to have a nice time huh" duncan whispered to my ear and laughed.

yeah what a nice night.