Five Weeks in the Amazon - #true #story

Talking with Oscar (deleted "fictional" chapter from Five Weeks in the Amazon)

"Even better! I love long road trips. So, could we say wherever we were going, our rental car would be the physical vessel we were using for our trip?"

"Uh, yeah I guess so."

"And traveling across the country on a trip like this would be quite a journey wouldn't it?"

"I wish we could go right now!" Michael interrupted.

"I want to see the Ocean." Oscar said slowly and his eyes glazed over as he thought of things he'd never seen.

"Yeah me too," I sentimentally recalled my own memories of the ocean, "but let's pretend this trip is across the country of Peru. It is our journey, like our life. The rental car is our physical vessel, like our body." I stopped for a second to see if he was keeping up, "Do you see where I am going with this?"

"Yes, I think I see the comparison, but please, continue."

"When we get to the end of our life, or journey as we've called it, will there be a bill for the use of our body? Will anyone be there to collect payment?"

"No, of course not, our body is ours and was given to us to respect!" Oscar said. His engagement in any discourse was always bright and youthful. Without the restraint that comes with most people's natural transition into adulthood.

"And this will never change? Even if we get to the end of our life and our body, our physical vessel, is broken beyond repair?"

"No, it is the same for everyone. Some people die when they are very sick, but some people have healthy bodies and something bad can happen to them."

"You're right, sometimes people's bodies are too sick to be saved, or something bad may happen to them. For the most part, we reach adulthood with mature bodies that begin to slowly decline, and most people return their bodies in far worse condition than they were given them," I thoughtfully mused, "Now, getting back to our analogy about the rental car. Could we say that to owe nothing for the use of our body, or physical vessel, at the end of our life, is the same as returning our rental car without having to pay a bill?"

"Yes, we can say that. It is easy to see how those two relate." Oscar said this with a look which showed he understood more than he could explain at the time.

"And there's no need to worry about if it's damaged, or how many miles of pavement you've sped across, or if the tank of gas is full. When we are done we are done, but while we are on our trip we're free to drive it in any way we wish. There's nothing stopping us, is there? If we say that, are we being consistent with everything we have agreed on up until now?"

"With no doubt, we can."

"Well, I don't know about you Oscar," I said, "but if I knew I had a free rental car, and the terms of the rental agreement were the conditions we just outlined, I'll tell you how I'd drive the thing on our road trip."

"How?"

"I'd drive the damn wheels off it! And my rental car would be fully used when I returned it at the end of my trip. Whether it was a 4x4, a sports car, or even better, if it was an old beater, I'd drive them all to their absolute limit."

"Hahah, ok, I think I see what you are talking about."

"I want you to remember this because it is the reason I love skateboarding. It gives me the chance to use my mind and body to its maximum. My body is the only physical vessel I'll get. If it's truly gratis as we've agreed, then why wouldn't I use it unconditionally?"

"So you don't care if you hurt yourself?"

"It's not that I don't care, I care a lot! I don't want to get hurt because then I can't skate. Getting hurt is the worst," I said this with so much conviction he could see I was serious, "I don't like to hurt myself, but sometimes it happens. If you never hurt yourself you're not pushing yourself hard enough. Our journey, our life and, our trip across the country are similar. They are all restricted by a finite amount of time.

I choose to do, and see as much as possible, I find it boring to putt along in life, and I hate driving slow on a trip. If I end up crashing a few times during my journey—which is an endurance race, not a sprint—it is only because of the exuberance that comes when you're driving a high performance car.

Sometimes it feels like the body and mind I've been blessed with are equivalent to a Formula 1 car in this regard. Sometimes too much for me to control. Knowing this, what else should I do? I like the feeling of the pedal hitting the floor and getting sucked into the drivers seat in the race car that is my existence. I like when the safety belts cut into my shoulders on tight corners, and I plan to drive the shit out of this body of mine in the race against time, my life."

"Ok, I keep trying." Oscar replied and jumped up. He took a couple pushes and put both feet on the board, wobbled a bit, and again the board shot out from under him. He landed on the same elbow and stood up wincing in pain. He walked over to me and I stood up to give him a slap on the back. I told him the only way to get better was to do exactly what he just did.

This was how it ended. I had to leave when I said goodbye I tossed Oscar my half-finished pack of cigarettes. Just like my skateboard, those cigarettes were much more valuable in his hands than mine. I hopped into the back of a Motokar and asked the driver to take me to the airport.

***

Looking down I am now flying over the amazon of Peru. The jungle that has been my home. All I can see is an expanse of green canopy to where it meets the distant horizon. I don't think I've ever been this sad to leave a place. I'm not breaking into tears but I'm going to miss it here, a lot.

It feels I was always destined to come here. Like I was meant to integrate myself with nature in the jungle, and like the jungle had been waiting to integrate with me. Now I have accomplished that task.

The most encouraging thing I'm taking away from all of this is knowing I will always have a home here. It has been more powerful than I could have imagined and I'm going to miss it all. It may sound crazy, but I know at anytime I can come here unannounced and find friends, food, and places to stay. I am welcome here, always.

Gracias para selva

Gracias para todo

Mucho amores

I'm going to miss you.                                                                   ***

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