10 things I love about you - Hotchniss

the queasy feeling

Yawning, Emily closed the file in front of her. "I'm done!"

The team had gotten back from a case that evening and she was really looking forward to going home and to be finally alone with Aaron.

"Me too", Morgan grinned and gave her a high-five. "I cannot wait to get home."

The case had been tough, and they hadn't really gotten the chance to talk or spend some time together apart from one night in which Emily had sneaked into his hotel room, where they had only fallen asleep in each other's arms as they had been so worn out.

However, he had suggested that she'd stay the night at his place after the paperwork. Emily had never been to his house, and the fact that he wanted her to see it sent butterflies through her stomach.

"Are you seeing what I'm seeing?", Morgan suddenly asked and Emily looked up from the pen in her hand. She clenched her jaw as she saw no other than Haley approach to them.

"Hello", the blonde smiled awkwardly. "Is Aaron in his office?"

"Yup", Morgan nodded and Haley whispered a quick "Thank you" before walking up the stairs. Emily couldn't help but feel incredibly sick. What did Haley want from Aaron all of the sudden?

"Hold up", Jordan finally joined the conversation. "Who is that?"

"That's Haley Hotchner", Rossi sighed.

"Hotchner? As in - that man's got a wife?!", Jordan stared at the rest of the team in disbelief.

"Ex-wife", Morgan corrected her, and Emily felt a slight feeling of relief. Right, Ex-wife.

"Well, on paper they are still married", Rossi then pointed out and the feeling of relief vanished again.

Emily's heart dropped. She had never thought about the fact that the man she was sleeping with was technically still married.

Her eyes wandered up to Hotch's office, just in time to see him shutting the blinds. She gave her best to hold back a small gasp and quickly lowered her gaze again.

"Whatever", Morgan shrugged. "Yo, Princess, ready to leave?"

"Yes", Emily croaked and got up quicker than she had intended to.

"Is everything alright?", Morgan asked as they waited for the elevator. He and Emily had grown really close and Emily was thankful for having a friend like him. However, she couldn't tell him, she had promised it to Aaron, after all.

"Just really tired", the brunette smiled. "And looking forward to a hot shower and a cozy bed."

"Can I join?", Morgan grinned and they both chuckled at his joke.

"In your dreams", Emily smiled.

"Too bad", he laughed.

Emily's mind wandered back to Hotch and Haley. She internally told herself to stop being so jealous, but she just couldn't help it. Haley was the mother of his son, after all, and there would always be something that connected them. And who was she on the contrary? Nobody.

"See you tomorrow?", Morgan asked as they exited the elevator and walked towards his car.

"Yes, see you", Emily waved and unlocked her car. As she took place behind the driving wheel, she paused. Maybe she should wait for him?

Pulling out her phone, she decided to text him. 'When are you going to be home tonight?' Her phone immediately told her that the message had been delivered, but she doubted that he would look at his phone.

After half an hour, she shook her head and started the car. She hated being so desperate for him, and it seemed like the talk with Haley was really important.

Emily was in an incredibly bad mood as she stepped into her apartment. Throwing her bag into her bedroom, she realized that her bedsheets were still a mess. After Hotch and her had been called in for the case a few days ago, she hadn't bothered to tidy it up.

She quickly hopped into the shower and changed into comfortable clothes, trying to make peace with the thought that she would probably not spent the night at Aaron's place.

Later that night, after she had poured herself a glass of red wine and taken place in front of the TV, there was a knock on her apartment door. Rolling her eyes, she got up and opened.

"Hey", were the only words that left Hotch's mouth.

Emily pursed her lips but didn't reply as she crossed her arms in front of her chest and leaned into the doorframe.

"I'm sorry", he continued. "It got really late."

"You could've at least answered my text", Emily pointed out.

"Right, I forgot about that", he sighed. "I'm really sorry."

Letting her eyes wander up and down his body, she stepped aside. Hotch released a breath he didn't know he had been holding as he walked pass her.

"What did Haley want?", Emily asked sternly after she had closed the door.

Aaron turned around to meet her gaze, and as he did so, he realized how pissed she was.

"It was about Jack", he explained. "And she handed me the final divorce papers."

"She did?", Emily asked, surprised.

"Yes", Hotch nodded.

Suddenly, Emily felt incredibly stupid for being so mad at him. Yes, she was still a bit annoyed that it had taken him so long, but she was really embarrassed for being so jealous of Haley.

"Did you... did you tell her about us?", Emily then asked and Hotch shook his head 'no'.

She just nodded and let her gaze drop to the ground. It made sense, he wanted to keep it a secret and Emily and Aaron hadn't exactly put a lable on it themselves, so what should he have told her?

"What is it?", Hotch asked, recognizing that something was on her mind.

"It's nothing", she sighed and walked past him, leaning against the kitchen island.

"We both know that's not true", he replied and stepped closer to her, yet his hands remained in the pockets of his trousers.

"I just don't know how to feel about the whole situation with Haley", Emily admitted.

"There is no situation with Haley", Hotch said.

"Of course there is", she exclaimed. "She soon might not be your wife anymore, but she is still the mother of your son. How do I compete with that?"

"You don't have to compete with anyone", he immediately stated. "And let's be honest, nobody would be a competition to you."

A small smile formed on Emily's lips as he slowly wrapped his arms around her waist. "You're just saying that."

"No, I mean it", he replied firmly and kept staring into her eyes. "Nobody even gets close to you."

As their lips locked, Emily really tried to ignore this queasy feeling in her stomach as she still wasn't quite convinced by his words. Her mind imagined him saying the same words to Haley, which made her wrap her arms around his neck and pull him even closer, as if she was scared that he'd might move away.

However, she didn't want to ruin this evening by her insecurities; she just wanted to enjoy the time she had with him alone.