10 things I love about you - Hotchniss

the bar

Emily crossed her arms in front of her chest as she stood in front of the bar where she was supposed to meet the team.

After Derek had texted her the address, she had considered to pass and tell them that something important had come up, but she had felt really bad about leaving them hanging on this. They had decided to meet up for her, after all, and she wanted to be a part of this team so badly - so there was no other choice than suit up and try to ignore the fact that Aaron and his wife would be there.

She started to smell cigarettes and smoke, coming from the few people standing in front of the bar. Oh, how much she was craving for a cigarette in that moment. After Aaron had left all these years ago, Emily had become a real chain-smoker for about a week - and after that, she had never touched a single cigarette again. Until this day, the brunette had no idea how she had managed to so, especially since she had been smoking a lot for a really long time. But until this night, she had never even thought about smoking again.

However in that exact moment, she wished she had a pack of cigarettes in her bag. Oh god, what Aaron still did to her.

"We're late", Hotch sighed after Haley had parked the car.

His wife just scoffed sarcastically: "I'm sorry that I'm busy with the household next to my actual work, but nobody else does it, right?!" Usually she would add that she was taking care of Jack as well, but since he was with Jessica that night, the argument would be invalid.

Before they had gotten into the car, they've had a huge discussion again. It had been the same topic as always, and Hotch would be lying if he claimed that he wouldn't understand her point - he did, actually - but he just couldn't change the fact that he cared a lot for his work.

Emily would understand.

He froze at this sudden thought. Mentally, he cursed himself and tried to avoid any more thoughts about his ex-girlfriend. He had thought about her enough already.

"If you're going to keep staring through the window instead of moving, we're going to arrive even later", Haley pulled him out of his thoughts as she grabbed her handbag.

Without any other word, Hotch unlocked his seatbelt and claimed out of the car. His wife did the same, and without any conversation, they walked towards the bar.

"Emily?", the brunette spun around at the sound of her name. She had immediately recognized his voice and her heart skipped a beat as she discovered standing a few feet behind her.

Next to him, she discovered a blonde woman, probably Haley. She was really pretty, and literally the opposite of Emily's look.

"Oh, hey", Emily quickly replied.

"Haley, this is Emily, our newest team member", Hotch introduced them. "Emily, this is Haley, my wife."

"Nice to meet you", Haley smiled, yet Emily couldn't help but notice how tensed up the couple was.

"Same goes for you", she smiled kindly and gestured towards the door. "We should probably get going, everyone else is already there."

The night went by without any awkward situations. Emily and Hotch managed to avoid each other, and after a few drinks had been ordered, the whole situation relaxed. An hour later, Morgan and Garcia were rocking the dance floor, whereas Reid was playing darts. Emily was just thankful for JJ, who had stayed at the table with the Hotchners and her.

"I'm going to the bathroom, I'll be right back", she then excused herself.

"I'll join", JJ quickly said and walked behind her.

As they stood in line, Emily let out a breath she didn't know she was holding.

"They're having a lot of problems", the blonde suddenly said.

"What?", the brunette shot her a confused look.

"Hotch and Haley", she replied. "She hates that he's at work 24/7 and barely spends time at home. If it wasn't for Jack, they would have filled for divorce by now."

"Is that's why she's so tensed up?", Emily asked.

"Yes", JJ nodded. "He's too, he's just better at hiding it."

"Of course he is", she mumbled. It didn't surprise her that Hotch's first priority was his job - everybody who really knew him understood that; he lived for his work. She remembered how she had been mad at him once for not making her a priority, but she had understood that he wasn't the person she had loved without his work. It was a huge part of him, and he needed a partner who would accept all that. However, she also understood Haley, who spent probably a lot of time alone with Jack instead of having a real family.

Emily returned to their table before JJ did and noticed that Haley was gone.

"Where is Haley?", she asked.

"She left", Hotch replied dryly. "An emergency with Jack."

"Liar", the brunette mumbled. Oh god, did she just say that out loud? How much did she drink?

"Maybe, but still non of your business", he replied.

"I'm sorry", she looked down at her hands. He was right, his marriage was non of her business.

Turning her head to check if JJ was coming to save her, she discovered the blonde next to Reid at darts. Fuck.

"So, how have you been?", she awkwardly asked Hotch.

He raised his look from his glass to her.

"I know, you said that I should never bring up the past, but it's just the two of us and it's the only question I can ask that's not completely staged.", she quickly added.

A small sigh escaped from Aaron's lips: "Good, actually. Shortly after I quit I was offered a job at the BAU."

"You must have been really happy", Emily smiled, knowing that this had always been his dream.

"Yea, almost", he whispered. "How about you?"

"Well, I left my parents mansion after I had finished school and started the training at the FBI academy", she shrugged. "And then I worked and worked and somehow ended up here."

"Do you still smoke?"

"You've been dying to ask that, haven't you?"

"Maybe", he chuckled. "So?"

"No", she said. "I've stopped many, many years ago."

"Clever choice", Hotch smiled.

If they both hadn't drunken so much alcohol that night, they would've probably never had that conversation. But somehow, it felt right, yet so wrong to both of them. Neither of them could deny that they still cared for the other, and that was never going to change.