Duplicity [h.s]

86

The bathroom was suddenly glowering purple, catching me discreetly off guard. I turn my head back to look at the depths of the foggy room, seeing the purple glow on every surface. It was a bright neon purple that could almost be classified as pink. As I look back at him in the doorway, he steps forward into my space, causing me to step back. The purple floods his face when he enters the humid room, keeping his eyes down on mine so I no longer see the green of his irises.

He shuts the door behind him as the steam from the running shower became clouds to the ceiling. He steps forward until we were both in the centre of the muggy room. I was mildly confused by why he has purple lights set up in the bathroom.

He shuts his eyes, breathes for a moment. I don't say a word, I just stare up at him. His chest brews up and down in a slow rhythm, hands down by his sides. He's thinking.

Without even speaking, he slowly brings his hands up to the back collar of his shirt. I held my breath out of habit when he pulls the fabric up over the back of his head. The shirt swallows his head as he slides it up his body to expose it completely. I was in slight shock but didn't make it visual on my face.

The fabric leaves his head and drops to the floor, my eyes not leaving his once I saw them again. I was in utter surprise at how fast he did it but also nervous. He went into this with a confident step. Standing in the middle of the purple-glowing bathroom, he opens his eyes on mine and nowhere else. Shirtless in front of me, I find myself scared to look elsewhere.

Silence floods between us, the purple lights blanketing every complexion we once held. My chest rose up and down from the adrenaline, knowing the second I look down an inch I'd get to see his bare chest again. I've seen it but the idea was still so foreign to me.

"Would you like me to look?" It still felt invasive of his privacy.

He nods, keeping his eyes burned into mine like it was his only safe zone. He kept a chiselled expression on his face but his eyes told me he was in a world of nerves. It was hard detaching contact from them, I didn't want to make him uncomfortable.

I stumble my eyes down to his chest right before me, the purple lights making the pink of his wounds almost invisible. I blinked twice thinking I was just blind from my contacts being out—but it was true. The harsh scars on his front were almost disguised from the ambiguous lighting. You knew they were still there but very faded. His titanium dog tag pendant sat between his chest muscles, the same one he uses to make coke lines.

"In all my apartments, the bathrooms have purple lights because they colour match some of the lighter scars. I don't look at myself, but if it accidentally happens then this tricks me to feel the slightest bit normal." He whispers as I stare at his chest.

The tone in his voice was a little unstable, he's trying so hard to be clear and confident. This was still new for both of us, his skin being exposed like this. The last time he didn't this, he was crying on his knees in front of me. The fact he was holding himself together as hard as he could was astonishing.

The purple lights did wash away a lot of the pink scars, but the scars on his front were not a fraction as bad as the scars on his back. I wanted to glance at the mirror on my left to see, but I decided against it. I understood where he was coming from, this helps him feel ordinary. It hides some of his sins for a moment of time.

His body is so beautiful, no matter the imperfections on his skin. His chest is sculpted of muscle, firm like stone and blanketed in agile skin. His collarbone stuck out mercilessly, adding casted shadows that went all the way to his broad shoulders. His body is a work of art, I wish he understood that. My eyes find themselves trailing down to his abs, the gentle indents of the muscles were just seen enough behind the soft layer of skin. I fell hypnotized to the trail of dark hair leading from his belly button to the band of his black jeans. Even that was so beautiful to me, I'm absolutely mesmerized by him.