Embarrassing Stories

Story Eight

A/N: Life has been crazy lately, but I'm going to try and update to keep my SANITY!

"Strong Pitches"

This story takes place about a decade ago when I had the fantastic idea to join a self defense class for a week or two.

Well, technically it wasn't MY idea. I just went along with it. 

I thought it would be fun to know a little bit about martial arts (which the classes were based on) since it'd be good for bragging and for...I don't know...SELF DEFENSE! - something that my little brain couldn't wrap around at the time. 

I liked the idea of going mostly because it meant that I wouldn't be left home alone to re-watch (and act along with) my favorite musical, Annie over and over again. Being home alone for like 10 hours with nothing to do but that and talk to cats over the entire course of the summer, it gave me something to look forward to, something useful at that. 

It all went downhill though when my mom decided that my God sister should join me. 

At this time, I don't think we were hanging out (for reasons that will later be explained). My mom probably thought she should tag along so I wouldn't be lonely or lured off by some stranger (since that was always her first thought for everything), even though we were in her place of work - the hospital. Yes, that's right. It was a program set up by the hospital and took place in the hospital.

Thank goodness this didn't take place during the flu season. 

When we had our first class we took it pretty easy. 

We were introduced to these two ladies that took the time to teach the class. To me at that time I thought they were lesbians (because short hair and track suits = lesbian, duh!) and in all truth they could have been. Who knows?

I think they had an assistant, the only man there since this was a girl's self defense class.

We always sat in a circle and even passed brochures out that were very detailed about certain types of assault that made me feel uncomfortable, but, it was good information to know. 

I was having the time of my life up until it was time for us to get into the nitty gritty. 

We had to at this stage actually get up and do stuff, you know: practice "boxing", kicking, certain techniques. Basically we had to use our whole bodies. 

My mood started to dampen when my God sis looked like she was bored with everything that we were doing. She literally didn't even try to do half of the stuff. It just reminded me of how different we were. 

I was also on my monthly and given the fact that if I SAT wrong I risked having a major leak, jumping around didn't curb my anxiety about it. 

This one day I wasn't quite prepared for it when it came and I was wearing a pretty light track suit. I started kicking with less frivolousness and I turned my behind away from the crowd of people. Whenever I got the chance to, I would go to the bathroom and ask if I was leaking. 

My mood also went south when one person really started showing out. 

Maybe it's an insecurity thing, but when other people noticeably start doing better than everybody (myself included) and my mind goes into competition mode, I immediately feel bad. 

I had this girl as a partner throughout and her talents really started to show. 

I watched as she kicked the sh*t out of someone's hand when practicing and got compliments for days, even knocked some people back. I however kicked like a limp noodle and even when I tried harder I couldn't compare. When it was my turn to hold those kick-y hitt-y thingies, my hands were stinging from how hard she was hitting.