Cherchant (Kylo Ren x Reader)

Twenty-Eight

Rey had successfully argued to the council that they should allow her to utilize the historic Jedi Temple site. You suspect that what had won them over was the fact that her presence there would prevent other, darker, and more opportunistic Force sensitive individuals from showing up there like the Anzat had. That coupled with the fact that they were most definitely frightened of her power.

The planet is dotted with small islands, the vast majority of them presumed uninhabited. Although Rey had endured hours of questioning, in the end the council had made no objections.

This was two months ago. She had immediately gone to work on cleaning and restoring the ruins of the original structures. You and Kylo had gone many times to help her. Referencing dusty old texts and historical drawings to recreate the layout. Together you used the Force to shift and stack massive structural blocks that lay scattered across the landscape.

Several of Rey's colleagues from Ahch-To as well as the wookiee Chewbacca had arrived and taken over the job.

It's been a couple of weeks since you'd last been there and you're excited to be returning tonight. It is no longer the place of fear and trauma that had briefly held you hostage to your pain. Your role in changing it had a profound effect on your healing. Not to mention, your powers feel at least twice as strong when you are there.

It's like your soul is drinking from the deepest, purest well and doing so produces a natural high. Knowing that you'll soon be there has you craving that feeling like a drug.

As you load the last bag of food for your picnic onto the Silencer, you notice Kylo bent over his trunk, sifting through its contents. You sense anxiety rolling off of him and decide to broach the subject.

"Hey, what's up?" You ask, placing your hand on his shoulder.

"Hmm?" He responds, surfacing from distant thought.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm just grabbing a few more things. I'm fine."

"You don't seem fine," you gently press him.

He sighs and growls lowly. You're pestering him. He tucks a few things into the bag he's holding and slings it over his shoulder as he stands. He towers over you, forcing you to crane your neck to maintain eye contact.

"It's Chewie."

The silence weighs heavily on you both as you wait for him to speak.

"This will be the first time I've seen him since the war. I'm afraid that he won't forgive me for Han's death. I'm afraid that he shouldn't."

It hurts him to refer to Han as his father. Using his first name is a defense mechanism. At the time of his death, Han Solo had been Kylo's adversary, a man who stood in the way of his potential and his beliefs. Only after he was dead did Kylo Ren understand the devastating reality of what he'd done. Chewbacca had witnessed the death of his dear friend and Kylo's lowest, most shameful act.

Long ago, before Kylo had embraced the dark side, back when he was Ben, Chewbacca had loved him.

"I'm not sure I deserve his forgiveness."

You watch a single tear roll down his cheek, taking his hand.

Putting the topic on hold, you over-enthusiastically embrace the distraction of an impromptu flying lesson. Kylo had taken you out a few times to learn the basics of piloting the Silencer. You are a quick study. You love learning and despise being a passenger. Nothing helps your motion sickness more than being in control of the vehicle yourself.

Sitting on Kylo's lap at the helm, you try to recall the steps for takeoff. He guides your hand when your memory falters.

"Good. Good! Now pull back on these to lift. Okay, good. No, not yet."