Look Beyond What You See

Ready for Love

I cling to Selene's back as she charges, silvery mane and tail flying, wherever she desires. I have to get away for a while. What have I done? my mind repeats to the rhythm of Selene's pounding hooves. The Berkeley mansion fades into the rest of the scenery behind us, but this brings me no relief. The weight of the plan agreed upon by my fiancé's family and me sits so heavily on my shoulders that I almost wonder that Selene can run so swiftly. She is joyous to have been released from the stables, ecstatic to feel the turf beneath her hooves, and my melancholy self-doubt does not affect her mood at all, as yet.

Selene's gait slows to a trot and then a walk. I open my eyes and lift my face from her neck to see that she has brought me to the garden of the clear stream, where once Dmitri painted me. How long ago that seems!

"Why did you bring me here?" I ask Selene, eyes wide with wonder as memories of all the hours spent here flood back. Selene nickers and lowers her head to drink from the stream. Something here calls to me, or to my magic, which seems here at ease, energized, while I am still much vexed.

I am to marry Dmitri in five days' time. Such is the timeline upon which we have all agreed, under the plan I suggested at breakfast. Meantime I am to spend all my time training and studying military strategy. Dmitri is to help me train, and to train himself, as much as he can. I'm not sure what else he's meant to spend his time on. I left him arguing with his mother about the more minute details of the marriage ceremony. I couldn't bring myself to wait for him to conclude the discussion. I had to be alone.

Now that my only companion is a lunar-lustred mare, I dismount and bend by the stream to splash my face with its pure, clear contents, hoping that this will calm me and bring similar clarity to my thoughts. I should probably practice with my magic, but my thoughts won't settle; I can't achieve the focus I need. The thought of marrying so soon, especially after all that happened yesterday--was it really only yesterday?--is really nothing less than terrifying. And there's no guarantee that this choice will accomplish what I mean for it to accomplish. It's just the best plan that I have, the best plan that any of us have.

Will it be enough? Will it be worthwhile?

"Quite a conundrum you face, my child," Acionna's liquid tones remark behind me. I whirl around to face her, quite startled, but surprise quickly transmutes to exasperation. Of all times, now, when I most would like to be alone? "My apologies for violating your solitude. I know you came here for space to think. I simply wanted to speak with you, to gain some insight into your state of mind, and, perhaps, to offer you some comfort. The other realms have been much abuzz about all that has come to pass at the Berkeley estate."

"You speak of Xenia de Poitiers and her visit, I presume," I answer as calmly as I can. Why now, of all times?

"Indeed, 'tis what most of the other realms have marvelled at. Her Malevolence places high value on the schemes she here attempts to bring to fruition. Otherwise she would not have come in person and made such a spectacle. 'Twas rather rash of her, and belies that she is becoming reckless, perhaps power-mad." Acionna pauses, allowing me to consider the full weight of her words. The sorceress will be less rational but, perhaps, easier to trick if this is in fact the case. "But, of course, I knew of other things that gave me cause for concern."

"I cannot imagine. Yekaterina and Giacomo both have gone, and heretofore they were your greatest concerns in my corner of the globe, were they not?"

"Greater still even than they in my concerns for you has been your relationship with Dmitri, and it is my understanding that you and he are to wed within a se'en-night. Have you properly reconciled? Can you think of this prospect without recoiling on account of the discord that has been between you?"