Look Beyond What You See

Vicious Green Monster

 No stars tonight to pierce through the darkness of the sky, much less that which lingers in my mind. A solid mass of dark depressing water vapor obscures the azure, diamond-studded blanket that envelopes the earth at night. I sit beneath it on the roof of the Berkeley mansion regardless. My need for solitude and peace is far greater than my desire for perfect weather. Dmitri will probably disturb me at some point, but that's just as well, I suppose. We need to talk.

For now, though, I am ensconced in a corner of the garden, plucking a petal from a daisy for each unpleasant thought I have of Yekaterina or Dmitri. The petals, with but a murmur from me, turn into all manner of insects that can be found around water, mostly mosquitoes and dragonflies. The mosquitoes wisely do not bite the one who made them but fly away in search of other people to annoy. I hope they find a certain irritating blonde Russian.

At least her behaviour has improved throughout the day, at least to some degree. Luncheon was saved by the presence of Zinaida, in front of whom Yekaterina was something of demure and ladylike, though she kept her place next to Dmitri and occasionally cast lustful glances in his direction. I have no doubt, from the import of those looks, that had Zinaida not been present, her behaviour at luncheon would have been worse than her conduct at breakfast, and then there would have been hell to pay, for in spite of my (much-needed) nap after training, I was still fairly riled up.

The afternoon was spent with Malina, Juniper, the other ladies who sometimes wait on me, and Yekaterina, who brought an unfinished tapestry with her from Russia and was teaching all of us to make tapestry in the Russian style. All ladylike occupations are not areas in which I am gifted, and I struggled mightily with it. That condescending Russian wench was rather rude to me about it, especially at first, and generally conducted herself as a haughty princess among commoners, but I daresay I made Juniper proud. Never once did I snap or raise my voice or even release the slightest bit of sarcasm or dry humour (and every missed opportunity made me die a little inside), though I was sorely tempted. Indeed, I was nothing but kind and courteous to this most unwelcome, loathsome, arrogant creature, and as the hours passed she became increasingly astonished and unsure of how to act towards me.

I swear, were the results of this miraculous self-restraint not so satisfactory, we would have had a showdown. But my plan for handling her is working, and Juniper even praised me most heartily for my achievements in ladylike comport "towards even the most trying of individuals." Yekaterina even looked guilty by suppertime, and was markedly more reserved and less flirtatious with Dmitri at that meal, shooting bewildered glances in my direction all the while.

Subtlety is always best for dealing with difficult persons. Confuse them first, convince them that they have nothing to fear, and then strike. It's much the same as sneaking up on people, or martial arts.

Footsteps, from the direction of the ladders that give roof access. Dmitri. Should I send a swarm of mosquitoes his way? Probably not. It wouldn't be subtle, and therefore will not be as effective as maintaining the strategy I've been employing with Yekaterina. Instead I close my eyes and try to compose myself, drawing strength I do not have for the conversation I know is coming.

"I thought I'd find you here," he remarks as he approaches. He then sits down next to me with familiarity I find surprising, after all that's transpired today. In his place, I think I would exercise more caution. I do not reply to him; after all, what is there to say? I had hoped that I would escape the fate of the woman I called Mother, that I would be my husband's one and only whenever I did marry, but now I fear that I will be the unwanted woman, wounded by her husband's affairs and unable to stop them. "How are you getting on with Yekaterina? You seem to have survived the first day of lady lessons, anyway."