Always The Same (Larry fanfic)

Chapter 9

WARNING YOU NOW THIS IS GOING TO BE SHORT AS F%^&--- I  realllyyy dont feel like writing aha, i just wanna play guitar tn- but i promised so....heres a short a$$ chapter!!

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_Louis_

Huh, this isn't that bad actually. I could handle this no problem! Granted if I hadn't chugged back a 26er of whiskey before coming here...maybe this would be a little scarier. 

I mean, I am ending my entire life right now.

That's some pretty heavy shit. But...numb. Nothing. A little dizzy, a little scared, but who wouldn't be? 

This was it. After this, I would finally be happy. Well, can you be anything after you're dead? At least I wouldn't be so sad, hurt, broken. What happened? Was it black nothingness after life...or was all that 'white light holy presence golden gate' thing real? I guess I was about to find out, but not knowing was a little unerving. For all I knew, once I died, I could be wiped off the face of existence forever. I would be nothing, no one.

I guess that's where I was at now, anyways. Ahaha. Funny. I kill myself sometimes. Hahah! PUN UNINTENDED BUT WORKED NICELY! Wow, I was drunk. I looked down at the glass bottle in my hand-  a little left, might as well finish it off before all this went down. I looked down at the ground far below where I intended to throw myself in a moment. That last pun was a little less funny, a little too real. I polished it off, cringing as the burning sensation met my throat again, ending somewhere in my stomach. If I didn't end this soon, I was going to have to take a quick pee break.... 

beep! beep! beep!

I clicked the button on my phone to turn off the alarm I had set- it was five minutes to 6:49- which, this morning, was the exact time of sunrise.

And, also, a little less than coincidentally the time I had chosen to die. Ironic- the dawn of a new day, the end of my time here. But at least the last thing I saw would be beautiful. I looked up at the slightly pink, extremely blury sky, hoping I would be able to see it properly in my intoxicated state. 

beep! beep! beep!

That, would be the four minute mark. I wanted to make sure I got it right. This, I wanted to be the one thing at least that went according to plan in my life, that I was happy with. I sighed, as I climbed, unsteadily, up onto the railing of this stupid bridge. 

This bridge meant a lot to me. It was where I had been most happiest in my life- where all the best memories happened. I wanted this to be the place. 

My stepdad had taught me to jump off this bridge into the water below. I had been absolutely terrified, 100% sure if I did it I was going to die. He had laughed good naturedly, diving in first to show me it was okay, and that if anything happened, he would be there to catch me and pull me back to safety. He may not be with my mum anymore, but he was a good man, and I really trusted him. 

I had jumped. And, surprisingly, lived. I saw Mark smile, looking proud, which made me happy, and I grew proud of myself also, in having made him happy. He had always been really happy when we did father son stuff together. He took me fishing here almost every night in the summer, mom, the girls and I had picnics along the edge of the water in the shade of the trees- it was a place that meant most to me in my childood. 

beep! beep! beep! Three minutes. I sighed, holding onto the metal shooting up to the top of the bridge to keep stable.

Especially when I took Harry here when we were eight. I had taught him to jump off the bridge, the day after my dad took me here. He had looked as scared as I had probably looked, but I laughed it off, and pretended it was the easiest thing in the world, and I hadn't even flinched. He looked at me in awe, and I had blushed- I was usually the one looking at my best friend like that, not the other way around. Harry was always the brave one. That day, I had taken his hand, and we had plunged into the cold still spring temperature water. From then on, we went there a million times every summer, spring, even the fall, if only to talk and laugh.