{ LIVING THE POGUE LIFE }

{50}

"I love this picture," she said, "We all look so happy."

"Yeah, we do," JJ agreed, sitting up slightly and plucking another picture off the wall. "I think this one is my favourite."

It was a picture of her and JJ. Well, not exactly. It was a picture that Kiara had taken of Pope and John B with their arms over each other's shoulders, but in the background you could see Brie and JJ flirting as usual. They both had huge smiles on their faces, the sun shining brightly behind them. Brie smiled and planted a kiss on his shoulder.

"I like that picture too," she said, turning to look at the wall of pictures again.

JJ took her hand and squeezed it. Brie squeezed back and gave a tight smile, holding back more tears.

"We should tell them," JJ said, "We should tell Pope and Kiara that you're okay. God knows, they need it."

She nodded, half-heartedly. She wanted to see her friends right now, but she also didn't want to risk being caught and arrested.

"We could go tomorrow?" JJ suggested, "Their parents aren't likely to let them leave their houses right now, but maybe they could get away tomorrow."

Brie nodded in agreement, not wanting to attempt to talk because of her aching throat.  JJ traced his fingers up and down her arm comfortingly and she sighed.

"We can do a sort of memorial service?" JJ suggested. Brie's heart warmed. "We can get some candles and I can pick out some pictures, you know, to remember them and...and to say goodbye."

Brie let out a sob and smiled at him, wiping her tears away quickly. She put her head against his chest, trying to focus on his heartbeat to distract her from her own broken heart. She could hear him crying again too as he kept his hand over her back, rubbing circles with his thumb.

"I just can't believe this is happening," she said, "It doesn't seem real."

"None of it seems real," JJ agreed, "But I'm glad that you're okay. I dont know what I would have done if you were really gone."

She gripped the material of his hoodie in her hands and let out another shaky breath. He ran his hand through her hair, laying his arm around her back. The moment was so bittersweet that it was almost painful. She was so happy to be back in JJ's arms, but she now had to live with the fact that two of her best friends had just vanished from her life.

Brie couldn't help but feel like it was all her fault. She thought about everything she had done over the past couple of months and went through every single possibility of what she could have done differently so that Sarah and John B didnt have to end up on that boat.

She could have planned things better; she could have not been such a hot head when it came to conflict; or she could have simply not got off the boat. She might have been able to get the boat through the storm, or she could have persuaded John B to turn back around. They would have been arrested, but she would rather be in a cell than have lost them forever.

"I know what you're thinking," JJ said, "But don't. There's nothing you could have done. It's not your fault, Brie."

"It still feels like it is," she mumbled as a tear slid down her cheek, landing on JJ's jumper.

"You can't do that to yourself," he told her, "Anyway, it's happened. As much as I hate it, there's nothing we can do to change what's happened. They're not coming back."

She nodded slowly, biting her lip to stop herself from crying again. She didn't want to move. She couldnt find the effort. So she stayed laying on JJ's chest for hours, until at some point she must have fallen asleep.