Paint || BokuAka

- chapter 23 • everything is destroying me -

Things were not mean't to be found in there, but they searched anyways. Cleaning up the havoc that was made by him.

~

Bokuto's eyes widened as he lifted up the painting he found under the bed. It was beautiful, with all different shades of blues. It was them, it was them standing under a night sky. The sky was filled with stars, the moon shone brightly over their tiny little selves.

"Wow.." Bokuto awed at the painting. "Kuroo look this." He signaled Kuroo to drop the papers in his hand.

"Woah! That is some hell of an art piece." Kuroo looked over Bokuto's shoulder. "Oh shit, is that you guys?" Kuroo pointed at the two figures on the canvas.

"Yea.." Bokuto mumbled, completely mesmerized from the blues gliding across the canvas.

He set the painting down gently on the ground where they already cleaned, he started to collect all the trash on the ground with Kuroo. Soon enough he found it, crumbled in a the drawer next to his bed. As anyone would think, he thought it was just another piece of useless paper, until he saw the glimpse of writing on it.

Unfolding the paper, he saw the paragraphs of writing. Should he read it? Maybe it's private.

He started reading.

'Can anyone hear me? Please tell me you can hear me..'

"I can hear you.." Bokuto started choking up on his words.

'He's forgotten. Forgotten everything hasn't he? But I remember. I remember everything, even that night.'

"I didn't forget Keiji.." Bokuto bit his lip. The more he read, the more it tore him apart.

'I want to say sorry, Kōtarō. I ruined your volleyball career didn't I? I just ran away after I did! I'm a bitch aren't I? Honestly I'm glad you didn't run after me.. it showed me everything I've done wrong.

Thank you for not running after me.

Kōtarō I have one question, it's the same question I said at the beginning.

What would you say if I said I loved you?

Your response was all I ever wanted. Anything I would kill for! And you gave it to me. Thank you.

But nothing good came after that. Nothing at all.

Your life shattered in my hands. I can never forgive myself for that.

Kōtarō.. I love you.' 

Bokuto finished there, he didn't want to keep reading. He cried, the tears falling off his nose onto the wrinkled paper.

"Yo! Hey what are you doing..? Bo-" Kuroo walked over to Bokuto, "You okay bro? What did you find..?" Kuroo slightly pulled the paper out of Bokuto's hand.

Kuroo read the paper, his hand was over his mouth in shock. Tears pricked his eyes, but they wouldn't come out.

"I.. don't know what to say." Kuroo slightly patted Bokuto's back. He set down the note on the bed and slouched.

"He needed me.. he loved me." Bokuto gritted out. "I loved him." He sat on the ground, sitting right on the empty chip bags.

Kuroo let him sit out on the cleaning the rest of the time, watching his friend break in front of him made his stomach turn.

He cleaned out the trash, threw out the drugs stashed everywhere. Made the bed and opened the window to get a nice fresh breeze flowing through the room.

Kuroo relaxed and sat on the bed, he sighed and looked at Bokuto. His hair was deflated and he looked like a absolute mess.

"What time is it?" Bokuto said groggily while lifting his head to show his bloodshot eyes. Pulling out his phone, Kuroo turned it on and saw the time.

3:57 PM

"3:57 PM," He sighed and put the phone back into his pocket.

Bokuto sat up in an instant, "We can.. look for him!" He breathed out.

"Bokuto, he might come back. He's only been gone two days, dude." Kuroo glanced at him. "You need to calm down a bit.." He kept reminding him.

"But I can't calm down!" Bokuto raised his voice.

Kuroo huffed out and crossed his leg over the other. "Just wait a bit.. okay Bo?"

Bokuto slouched back down and deflated once again.

~

Bokuto couldn't stop reading the letter, over and over his mind read over the words.

'Kōtarō.. I love you.'

Those words, every word echoed his mind. He curled up into a ball and crumpled the letter under his arms.

"It's not your fault.. don't feel selfish Keiji." He smiled to himself. "You have every right to feel this way. I bet I did force myself into your life.. and I'm sorry for that." He whispered to himself, imagining like Akaashi was there listening to him once more.

~

"Have you found any trace yet?!" Bokuto slammed into the office.

"Sir please be quiet." The detective looked up at the boy, "And I'm sorry but no. We couldn't find any evidence of his disappearance." Her eyes drooped a bit, she felt horrible because of this.

Bokuto's heart dropped, he thought they would find more evidence to track. He walked over and sat in the chair in front of her desk, "Did you find at least.. anything?" He looked for hope.

She sighed, "Well, we're guessing he took his car. We've tried to track his phone but the connection to it has been disabled.." She looked at the file.

"Oh.." He hesitated. "Thank you for letting me come in today.." Bokuto got up and bowed.

"Of course Mr. Bokuto." She smiled slightly.

Bokuto walked out of there with dragging feet. He wished Akaashi wouldn't have ran, he wished he had ran after him.

"Keiji.. where are you.." He mumbled as he was walking out of the police station.

Bokuto never expected the next meeting to be heart breaking, hasn't everything already been enough? Can I really take anymore?

I've lost everything, everything.

•••

a/n: Yay! Another chapter out of the way! One more closer to the end.. :,)

But don't think it'll be over that soon! Haha :)