What You Caused

51.

Lucas' worried expression wilts into one of shock, confusion and then frustration.

I storm past him for the second time, throwing open the front and rushing outside. I'm not even wearing shoes and the biting cold immediately envelopes me as I step out into the snow but I don't care. I just need to get away from his house. Away from him.

"Are you fucking crazy you're going to make yourself sick!"

How rich. Now he's worried about me getting sick.

I've made it halfway down the driveway when Lucas grasps my wrist, halting me.

"Let go!" I yank my arm away from him.

"You seriously can't be this mad," he shakes his head, looking at me in disbelief. "Look I'm sorry okay, for reading your diary but you're making this into a big deal. So what if I you had a little crush on me when you were younger? Get over yourself Bella, it's not a big deal, I liked you too but we were kids, you clearly don't like me now so what's your problem?"

"Fuck you," I say through gritted teeth. "You have no clue why I'm mad. No. Fucking. Clue. No bloody idea what you did to me, or what you made me feel."

He throws his hands up in the air. "Why don't you fucking enlighten me then?"

At my silence he continues, shaking his head.

"I knew you wouldn't, why do I even bother? You get mad at me, then stay mad at me and then don't even fucking tell me what I did to make you mad!"

"That's the problem though, you don't fucking know what you did, how much hurt you put me through!"

"Hurt? What hurt?" He repeats, before his eyes widen realisation and he let out a groan.

"You're seriously this pressed over what I said to you when we were kids? I'm sorry I was rude alright but I was a kid, I didn't know any better!"

The lump in my throat is making it increasingly hard to swallow. Or breathe for that matter.

I shake my head slowly, my chest constricting as I gaze up into Lucas' eyes. There are a flurry of emotions swimming in his eyes, anger being the most prominent.

"I hate you," I say it so quietly that I don't even know if he heard, but the defeated look on his face tells me otherwise.

"Bell you don't mean that-"

I cut him off. "Yes I do. I hate you. Just please, stay away from me."

He calls after me as I turn around and run back to my house but he doesn't make any move to stop me from getting away.

I'm shaking as I step inside; because of the cold or because of what just happened I'm not entirely sure but there is a heaviness weighing down my entire body.

I lean against the front door after it closes, pressing my forehead against the cool wood, tears prickling the corner of my eyes.

+

Lucas:

I stay rooted outside in the snow several minuets after Isabella escapes inside her own house. I keep my eyes trained on the door like I'm waiting for her to come back out and tell me that she didn't mean what she said and that she doesn't hate me even though I know there is no chance that is going to happen. Her face; the anger, hurt and betrayal flaring in her eyes very clearly told me that she meant every single word.