The Christmas Theory

Once Bitten, Twice Shy

A cry of celebration disrupted the quiet. I quite literally jolted from my daze, causing the siren in my lap to jump with a start as well.

The kids on Holly's porch had finally broken through the last of the piñatas, the colorful contents of streamers and sweets exploding from the plaster and tumbling to the ground.

When I turned back to Madi, she'd turned back around, too. Her eyes were back down on her plate as she carefully spooned the contents into her mouth.

It was over. The moment brewing between us was over. It was a second. A flash. And, like every single one before it, it became nothing but a memory.

An almost.

I shook my head to myself as reality crashed through fantasy. Because there was no way in hell that I could have kissed her. Not after I'd promised her that I wouldn't. Not after I'd promised her that I wouldn't do anything like that until she gave me the go-ahead. Until she gave me her word that she was ready for what would inevitably come after.

Moments like that one—moments that were far more common than I could handle—threatened to undermine my resolve. They threatened to turn me into the kind of man that I resented. But I couldn't lose myself to them. I couldn't forget the kind of person that I wanted to be.

For her.

"Hey?" Madi spoke again, framing the word as a question.

"Hey," I repeated, my breath hitting the exposed part of her neck.

She altered her position, moving further back than she'd dared to sit before. I had to ball my hands in order to redirect the energy concocting inside of me, the feeling of where exactly that girl had chosen to sit excruciatingly good in an excruciatingly inappropriate setting.

She placed a hand on my thigh to steady herself, and I swear I almost died. "Do you want to come for a walk?"

I couldn't think. I couldn't move. "A walk?"

She nodded innocently. Too innocently, considering how sinfully I was peering back at her. "To see the lights."

I loved being with Madi. Truly, I did. But, to be completely honest, I needed this moment to end.

Now.

"I thought Dex was going with you?" I asked, nodding in his direction.

Madi's eyes—wide and alert—flashed like a bolt of lightning across the evening sky. Her smile twitched in the corners, falling until it settled into a straight line.

Just like at the bonfire the night before, it made me feel like I'd said something wrong.

"Right." Within a second, she'd risen to her feet. Within a second, I was no longer nailed to my chair. "Dex?" she asked, reaching over and hoisting him up, too.