"Lilla, come on! Malapit na kayo pumunta sa stage!" Sabi ng manager ng grupo namin. "Remember to be clingy with Jane, okay?" He said.
Ugh! Every time na may show kami or concert, nasa routine na siguro namin na magharutan sa harap ng fans to keep them satisfied.
Masaya naman ako kapag nakikita kong masaya ang mga fans pero kailangan pa namin ipakita na clingy kami sa isa't-isa para lang worth it yung pagsuporta nila sa'min. Pero mayroon rin naman sa mga kanta at performance talaga namin ang hinahangaan. Bonus nalang siguro yung harutan. You know, to add spice.
"Ready, Lilla?" Narinig kong tanong ng isa sa mga kagrupo ko. Si Riley. Ever since sa trainee days palang namin, close ko na siya. Siguro dahil malapit lang ang edad namin.
"Yes, I am." I smiled at her. She smiled back. Nakita ko siyang chinecheck yung earpiece niya para hindi siya madistract mamaya kung sakali mang magloko ito.
Ang pagiging idol ay gagawin mo talaga ang lahat para lang hindi kayo malaos at mas lalo pa kayong sumikat. And I can't do anything about it kasi trabaho 'yon. Tanging ang pagiging idol lang ang pinagkakakitaan ko sa ngayon.
Our group is very famous at nakaabot na kami sa iba't-ibang lugar o bansa para mag-guest sa mga shows. I enjoy my life being an idol but the worst part of it is those people who keep invading our privacy. Mga paparazzi. And those haters.
I accept criticism but not foul words. Noong baguhan palang yung grupo namin ay hindi maiiwasan na makatanggap ako ng hate words mula sa mga tao.
I also experienced crying all night because I wasn't that pro to handle hate comments. Pero patagal nang patagal nasasanay na yung sarili ko na dedmahin yung mga sinasabi nila. May mga oras pa rin naman na nalulungkot ako pero hindi na tulad ng dati na halos hindi ko na maalagaan ang sarili ko.
"Yah! Lilla! Anong iniisip mo diyan? Focus! Hindi pwedeng ganito kang haharap sa mga tao." Ani Manager.
"Yes, manager. Hindi ko naman hahayaang pumalpak itong concert. Alam mo 'yan." Pagco-convince ko rito.
Apat kami sa grupo. Ako, si Jane, Riley, at Jordyn. Si Jordyn ay ang pinakamatanda sa'min, habang ako naman ang bunso.
"Hey, Lilla." Lumingon ako sa pinaggalingan ng boses na 'yon at nakita kong papalapit sa banda ko si Jane. "Alam mo na ba ang mga gagawin mamaya?" Tanong nito.
"As usual, maging clingy sa isa't-isa." Simpleng sagot ko sabay tayo na dahil tinatawag na kami ng manager para pumwesto sa ilalim ng stage.
Ang mangyayari sa introduction ay magmumula kami sa ilalim ng stage. Lahat naman siguro ng concert namin ay gano'n ang introduction. Maybe.
"Ugh! Omg, Lilla! Hindi lang 'yon," Hindi ko namalayan na hinahabol na pala ako ni Jane. "We should also be touchy to each other." Aniya.
I know what she means. And I will admit that every concert namin, may part na nagugustuhan ko 'yon dahil sa oras lang na 'yon, nagiging malapit ako sa kaniya.
"Guys! Remember, No iPhone or any other brand of phone. Only Samsung, okay?" Ani Jane sa aming tatlo. "Especially you, Jordyn. Last time may kinuha kang iPhone mula sa crowd."
"Yea, Jane. I already said sorry kay manager. Hindi ko na hahayaang maulit muli 'yon." Ani Jordyn.
Nagsimula na ang concert kaya naman nag-enjoy lang kaming apat sa stage and we also did what we usually do in front of the people.
And the real show comes. I guess.
"Hey, Lilla!" Ani Jane. Rinig ito sa buong arena dahil hawak hawak nito ang mic.
"Yes, Jane?" I asked seductively. I kind of nervous but aarte pa ba? Ang daming beses na naming ginagawa ito.
I heard Jordyn and Riley hyping us up. Half of it is just an action but maybe half of their actions were real because somehow may mga pinagsasamahan pa rin naman kami.
"Could you tell our fans what is our next song?" We heard Jane talk again.
"Of course," I respond. I also wrapped my hand around her shoulder and there is the thing that we've been waiting for, the super loud crowd. I looked at Jane and she did the same and we both smile at each other.
"To our lovely fans, this song is dedicated to you all because you guys are very very special to us. No words can express how lucky we are meeting you guys." I continued.
After I said that, the whole crowd was in awe.
The next one who will talk is Riley "I, Riley, and the rest of the members of our group, put a lot of effort and dedication into this song just so you guys feel our love." She said. May payakap pa itong ginawa sa kaniyang sarili na para bang pinapahiwatig niya ang pagmamahal niya sa fans.
"So just sit and relax while we are preparing ourselves for this last song." Finally, Jordyn said.
Maganda ang naging flow ng last song namin para sa aming mga fans at ngayon ay narito na kami sa backstage para mag-ayos at makaalis na dahil may susunod pa kaming pupuntahan na concert and it's in Chicago.
"That was a great act, Lilla. Good job!" Ani Jane na nasa tabi ko na pala at may bitbit itong small bag. "By the way, mauuna na ako ha? I need to meet up with someone." She winked at me after that. Alam ko kung sino ito but I choose to hide my true reaction and smile awkwardly at her.
"Okay, be careful!" I said and bid my goodbye.
I just wish na totoo nalang yung mga pinapakita namin sa mga fans namin, na sana totoo ngang clingy kami on and off cam. I don't know when this kind of feeling started. Basta ang alam ko, I'm falling for her. Really! Pero she cannot feel it kasi mayroon siyang secret boyfriend and I have nothing to do with it because it is not my business to meddle at someone's relationship.
At parang ako rin yung nagiging wall ni Jane at ng secret boyfriend niya so people won't get that we are hiding something. I mean, lahat naman ata ng artist ay may mga bagay na tinatago to protect their images to the world, but ibahin mo ito sa ibang artist, kasi kila Jane nadadamay ako sa kanila. Kailangan na magkunwari kaming flirty in Jane sa isa't-isa para lang hindi madamay yung boyfriend niya.
It's been 2 years since I figured out that I was falling for her and up until now, hindi ko pa rin maamin sa kaniya 'yon dahil ayokong masira yung pagkakaibigan namin, lalo na ang grupo namin na matagal naming pinaghirapan.
7 years later, I'm here at the airport. Our group disbanded a year ago and hanggang ngayon hindi ko pa rin naamin ang nararamdaman ko but that is okay dahil wala na rin naman akong pag-asa dahil ikakasal na sila and finally, nasabi niya na rin sa buong mundo kung sino ang kasintahan niya.
I am glad that she found a guy who will be with her until she grows old. The guy who will be the witness of her downfall, achievements, and everything that will happen in her life. The guy who will witness her true laughs, smile, and giggles, off-cam.
I am extremely happy for myself too, because finally, I am now in the stage of moving on. I will start my life as a businesswoman. I now have the guts to let go of someone who will never be mine.
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•End•
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