Persia's Prayer

chapter nine

Hindi ako nagpaparinig but I really want to let him know that I like him so much. Regardless iyon, kung anong circumstances ang meron. There's something inside telling me that no matter what kind of flaw I saw in him, I'd still be willing to love and accept him. Subalit hindi naman iyon ang kaso. Sadyang nakatadhana na siya sa ibang babae.

"Hmmm.. it's okay, Persia. You can like somebody else. Like someoene more handsome and someone who will love you unconditionally. For example, ako," Osiris winked. I laughed. He's pouting his lips and I admit it's a bit cute. Maybe he's a bit drunk dahil kung ano ano na ang sinasabi niya.

"Well... that might not be the case. I can't love someone else." I smiled at Osiris.

"Huh, but why?" Osiris asked.

Well, I'm not quite sure of what was I'm about to say but it suddenly came out of my mind. If I can't marry Alastair, I don't want to marry anymore. I'll just probably spend my whole life doing good deeds and maybe, I'll reconsider sisterhood. Besides, mahilig din naman ako sa mga bata.

"I'll offer my life to God."

Nanlaki ang mga mata nila sa sinabi ko. I even got Alastair's attention on my peripheral vision. I'm smiling but their shocked expression makes me really want to become a nun.

"H-Huh... Pero bakit, Persia? That's so s-sudden.. Paano naman ako?" I laughed silently. Kung ano ano talagang sinasabi ni Osiris. He's talking nonsense. Dala siguro iyon ng kalasingan.

"Persia, dahil lang doon? Pero bakit? Aren't you just drunk?" Troy said.

Natatawa ako. I'm saying I'll offer my life to God but here I am, drinking with my friends. Isn't it ironic?

"Baka naman naguguluhan ka lang, Persia. I mean, you're not the type to do that... You're very straight forward and sometimes, masungit din. Hindi ikaw ang tipo na.. alam mo na.." Veronica added.

Natawa ako. "Well, I am not a saint. Hindi naman kailangan na perpekto ako para maging madre diba?"

I heard Alastair clear his throat. Tiningnan ko siya at nakikita ko ang pamumula ng mukha niya.

"I mean... why?! Ganoon mo ba kagusto ang lalaking iyon at sa kanya nakadepende ang magiging buhay mo?! Oh my gosh, this is a major decision, Persia!" Veronica said, frustrated at what I've said.

"Yes, I know it myself. If it's not him, I can't marry. That's why it's marrying him or be single for the rest of my life."

Sounded like an indirect confession but it's really the truth. Si Alastair ang kauna-unahan kong minahal. You can say it's first love. I can't look at other guys the way I look at him. Kaya alam ko sa sarili ko na kahit pilitin ko, hindi ko magagawang magkagusto sa ibang lalaki. I wonder why my heart is so faithful for someone who's promised to someone else.

"Who is this bastard?" Osiris asked. "That stupid asshole. Hindi ba niya alam na sobrang swerte na niya sa'yo?!"

He called him a bastard. I chuckled.

"You don't need to know. Hindi naman niya kasalanan na hindi niya ako gusto. I can't force someone to like me," I smiled bitterly. Masakit pero iyon ang totoo.

I saw Emily beside me. She's a bit drunk at sadyang taob na ang basong nasa harapan. Sa kakadaldal ko, hindi ko namalayan na napakarami na niyang nainom. Mukhang kailangan na naming umuwi.

"I think Emily and I should go." pagpapaalam ko.

"Oh, right. Baka mapagalitan ka ng Papa mo. Ihahatid ko na kayo," Troy insisted at saka tumayo pero maagap ding pinigilan ng nobya.