Four Beating Hearts

11 - quiet

Bethany POV

Penny was still asleep, but I felt the need to use the restroom. I didn't want to wake her so I was going through my own internal dilemma.

Mariana could tell something was up and questioned me on it.

I smiled sheepishly, "I need to pee, but I don't want to wake her." I told her and she smiled before carefully taking Penny out of my arms.

Penny had grunted at the shift slightly, but ultimately cuddled back into Mariana. I quickly went upstairs to use the restroom before coming back downstairs.

I made my way over to Mariana who was cradling Penny against her and went to take her back, but Mariana pulled her away from me. I pouted at her and she just chuckled at me.

"Babe, you've literally had her all night and all morning. I want some snuggles too." Mariana tried to reason with me, and while I understood, that didn't mean I was happy about it.

Instead I walked over to Bella who noticed and immediately wrapped her arms around me as I laid down in her lap. She held me in her arms and I could feel the happiness radiate from her.

"I was wondering when I'd get cuddles for myself. I know you'd rather be with Penny, but thank you for picking me as a second." Bella told me with a giggle.

I shook my head and playfully rolled my eyes at her as I adjusted myself to be better sat in her lap.

"So what's the plan for today?" Mariana asked and Bella shrugged behind me.

"I told Penny that we could just hang around the house and have a resting day since she was a little sore this morning. Did you two have anything in mind?" I told them and then waited for a response.

"Rest day sounds fine to me, but I want some Penny snuggles too Mariana." Bella told Mari with a huff and I laughed a little at that.

"Penny is not going to have any clue on how to share her time between the three of us," I said while still chuckling lightly.

Penelope POV

I started to stir awake and when I did I noticed I was no longer in Beth's arms, but instead in Mari's.

I went to sit up and Mari helped me the rest of the way so I was now sitting on the couch instead of in her lap.

"How'd you sleep sweetie?" Bella asked and I smiled at her.

"Good. I uh think I'm going to go upstairs for a little bit if that's okay?" I asked and I could tell all the women seemed worried.

"Is everything okay Penny?" Mariana asked and I gave her a small nod, her facial expression showed she was not convinced.

Beth intervened, "Okay little one, you give us a holler if you need anything."

I smiled at her, "Okay Bethy." I told her before making my way upstairs to my room. I decided to use the bathroom first and then made my way into my bedroom.

I sat down on my bed and brought my legs up to my chest. A lot has happened in the past two months, especially the past two days.

I've known for awhile that I was a little, that's the whole reason this mess started. But now I'm with people that I can be safe to be little around, yet something is holding me back.

I decide to text Bella and ask if she only she can come upstairs. I want to talk this through with someone and I feel like Bella is the best option. Beth is too motherly and I feel so little around her and Mari is always concerned about everything with me.

Bella knocks softly on the door before creeping in. I smile her way and she comes over and sits on my bed. She surprisingly doesn't touch me, which if Beth or Mari were here I'd already be in their laps.

Bella leaned against the bed and glanced my way, "So, what's going on in your head Penelope?" Bella asked and I tilted my head.

"You called me Penelope?" I questioned and Bella gave me a little grin.

"That's your name isn't it? Is it okay if I use that name?" Bella asked and I gave her a little nod, still somewhat confused.

"Yeah, that's fine. I just don't think you guys have called me Penelope at all the past couple of days." I told Bella truthfully.

She nudged our shoulders slightly before speaking up again. "I kind of got the vibe you needed to be talked to as an adult, which is smart that you only asked for me. Those two only know how to coddle you." Bella said with a laugh causing me to laugh along with her.

I shifted my body to lay my head in her lap and she rubbed my head once I was settled. Bella continued, "So, as I asked earlier, what's going on in your head?"

I sighed and realized it was now or never. "I'm just really conflicted on what I'm supposed to be doing. Those two months I was gone, they... they weren't good. Then I manage to get back to you guys and you have shown me nothing but love, affection, and support. I want to be little, if not for me, but for you three. I'm just scared that it's not going to workout. I already know I'm not going to be able to be little 24/7 because I have to go to school still, but I don't know what that means for us." I rambled out quickly.

Bella stayed quiet through my whole spiel and continued to run her fingers through my hair. Once I was done, she waited a minute before speaking up.

"That's a lot on your mind. I'm glad you chose to share that with me. I know what I say won't ease your anxiety, and I have a feeling that your anxiety about this may not ever be completely gone. I will tell you that me nor Beth or Mariana mind you taking your time with being little. If you decide you don't want to be little then that is absolutely fine with us too. We do think you will be a lot more relaxed and carefree if you were able to be little without worry."

Bella paused before continuing, "As for school, you only have this year left and from what I heard from Beth, you doubled up on a lot of your harder classes last year so you don't have to take as many classes and a lot of them are just free period classes. You can still be little after school and on the weekends, and Beth will be there at school if you need her. So there's precautions already in place for you there. Coming from the situation you came from to where you are now where you have received polar opposite care is going to be hard. Just know that we love you no matter what. If you decide you don't want to be little ever, that's totally okay. We will pretend it never happened and you are still going to be here and we are still going to love you. If you decide you do want to be little, we will take it slow, but we can also help you slip and feel more comfortable with this. The ball is in your court, whatever you decide, Beth, Mariana, and myself will support you no matter what."

I decided to sit up and as soon as I was up I wrapped my arms around Bella. "Thank you. I really needed to hear that." I told her before breaking the hug.

She looked at me with a small smile which I returned. I took a deep breath before speaking again, "I want to be little," I started and Bella gave me a worried expression.

"Sweetheart, you don't have to make up your mind right now. This is a lot to process, I understand that." Bella told me and I shook my head.

"I want to be little because this was something I wanted before I was with those people. I'm not going to let them ruin something I wanted before them. I trust all three of you with my life and I want you three to be the ones to be my caregivers as a little. I want this." I told her more confident than I was before.

Bella waited a moment before letting out a little squeal and pulling me into another hug. "I am so happy you are feeling better about this Penelope. I promise we will still go at your pace, but this is good progress." She told me as she squeezed me tighter.

She eventually let go, but I kept my head on her chest. "Thank you. We should probably go back down stairs though." Bella laughed before agreeing. She ended up carrying me back down the steps to the living room where the other two women waited.