Changes of Tomorrow (Serendipity series #1)

32

The good thing about not talking is that we never fight. But I actually wanted to at some point because I wanted to have a different conversation with him aside from casual talks. We were never really that close and I didn't know why. I wonder if he was mad at me or something.

"Huwag mo kasing ipilit ang hindi dapat! Stop forcing Ryder do something he doesn't like!"

I sat down at the stairs and watched my parents shouting to each other. Kuya Ryder was crying while holding Mom's hand.

"Sinasabi ko lang sa kaniya ang mangyayari sa future niya!" sigaw ni Daddy.

"Ayoko! I don't want your business!" Kuya shouted and ran away. I immediately stood up when he I saw him running towards the stairs where I was sitting.

"Kuya, are you okay?" I was very worried about him.

Sumama ang tingin niya sa akin. "If you want me to be okay, why don't you tell Dad that you're going to take his position instead?"

I knew he was mad when he said that. I can't really understand Dad why he was forcing Kuya to take his legacy. We're still so young... why does he have to tell him what he should do in the future?

That was the everyday routine in our house. Mom and Dad were always fighting and Kuya won't even talk to me. He was treating me coldly like I did something wrong. Tinatanong ko na rin ang sarili ko kung may ginawa ba talaga ako. The situation made me want to have friends.

I went to the restroom and started shaking. I covered my ears with my hands when I heard my parents were shouting again. I don't really know what to do anymore. I was crying nonstop. I bit my nails when I can't stop my hands from shaking.

"I'm scared..." I cried.

I want the shouting to stop. I want Kuya to talk to me. I want them to see me as someone who wants a playmate. I want them to treat me that I am the baby of the family. I want to have friends but they just won't talk to me.

I want to be gone, even just for a short time. Can I do that? How can I do that?

I was very new to the feeling that I was suffering. Hindi ko alam bakit ako nagkakaganoon. I wanted to tell my parents but Mom was busy trying to comfort Kuya who was not coming out from his room. Dad is very busy so I can't really talk to anyone. I just cried silently, when no one would hear me.

That was my everyday routine, mostly every night. I would always cry myself into my room and remember all the shouting. The moment I remember the truth that I'm alone, I would always cry myself to sleep. There was a point that I can't even breathe. I feel like I was dying but luckily, I survived. Maybe because I wanted to.

When Mom told us that she was pregnant, I was really happy. Finally! A new member of our family! Maybe Kuya and I can talk often, now that we have another sibling. Maybe my cries would lessen because I have someone now who would need someone to wipe her tears.

"Riley," I whispered while looking at my baby sister who was inside of a room full of other infants. "She's so beautiful." I smiled, admiring her.

"She is." Kuya Ryder smiled too. "Let's protect her from this cruel world, River. Can you do that?"

I looked at him with surprise. This was the first time that he asked me something. "Of course, Kuya. No need to tell me." I smiled.

I am really happy that we both wanted to protect the little angel in front of our eyes. But I still wonder... did he ever thought for once to protect me? I am his little brother, right? Does he love me the way he loves our sister?