Def different than other vampire stories, youhave a nice plot going on filled with mystery :D
There might be some mistakes like the commas are misplaced, but it's an awesome start! ;)
Your descriptions are amazing! Even though i'm not too fond of vapire stories, you've already hooked me in with your detail and characters, well done!
wow you write like a pro, really amazing. i really like the part when she states the facts about herself, its really funny :) absolutely love it so far.
There were errors, a few of them, actually. But the grammar is great. There were parts that made me smile. ;-) I love it. ^^
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