Persphyni : I am Death

16

The rest of Skaikru left, leaving Clarke, Bellamy, and myself standing in the room. The original leaders of the hundred. I took slow precise steps to reach them, my cloak flowing behind me as I went.

"She left us to die in that mountain." Bellamy whispered as he looked from Clarke to me then back to Clarke. "She will always put her people first. You should come home to yours." His eyes stayed on Clarke until she answered.

"I'm sorry." His jaw clenched and he looked from the two of us then to Lexa before walking away. Clearly thinking she answered for both of us. I turned to Clarke and gave her a look.

"When things settle down, you and I are having a talk." She nodded and stepped towards me almost as if she was coming in for a hug, but I had already walked off through the door. My feet soundless as I followed after Bellamy down the hall.

"Hey, Dumbass!" I shouted making him turn around, his jaw clenched and his eyes were watery. "Bellamy?" I know I wasn't the reason he was crying, but now the weight just settled on my shoulders.

"Bellamy, hey." I whispered, running to him as I wrapped him in a hug he needed.

His arms coming around my waist under my cloak as he buried his head into my left shoulder, his tears falling on my bare skin as I held him. My arms were underneath his as I squeezed. His arms pulling me further as he quietly sobbed. My heart tearing at the sound.

I rubbed his back as we stood in the middle of the hallway. Silence surrounding us as our breaths and his sharp intakes were the only sound. My left shoulder was soaked but I didn't care. All that mattered was Bellamy.

After a few more minutes, I figured that everyone must have been waiting for us. Or at least Bellamy, and I wasn't sure if he felt comfortable riding on Erebus yet. In fact, the thought never popped up until now.

"Bell." I whispered softly.

"It's been forever since you called me that." He whispered back after a few seconds of silence. His sniffling in between every few words brought pain to my heart.

"I know." I whispered continuing to rub his back. He had started to calm down and I figured it was safe to continue. "We should get going."

"I know." His whisper was muffled as he leaned onto my shoulder. His bare skin touching mine as he sighed, finally lifting his head from my shoulder and looked me shakily in the eye.

"Hey." I set my hands on the side of his face as I wiped below his eyes to remove the remnants of tears. I opened my mouth to tell him it's alright, that it wasn't his fault. But those words didn't come out, even if they were true. His eyes were too puffy and I didn't want to send him into another fit.

"Have you ever considered riding a horse?" He looked at me with confusion, his mind tired from his silent outburst.

"Not necessarily." I softly grinned and pulled my hands from Bellamy, his hands finally slipping from my waist as I grabbed his hand and began to walk towards the elevator which would get me back to my room for my bag.

"Well, you're going to experience it tonight. Cause I'm pretty sure they already left. And I- And I want you to make it back in time to get some rest."

"The elevator won't work." Bellamy mumbled as I pushed the button signaling for the elevator to come up.

"If not than we are climbing down." Luckily we didn't have to as the elevator came up within a few minutes. My hand still didn't let go of Bellamy's as we entered the metal. When we reached my floor and I remembered I was still holding his hand, I went to let go. But he stopped me by lacing his fingers through mine. His larger hand trapping my smaller one as he let me lead him to my room. He just needed comfort.

Once inside I grabbed my pack and walked back out the door. Grabbing a small cool rag I used to wipe my face on the way back down the elevator, successfully getting the blood off my face and only using one side. Folding it in half I passed it to Bellamy who's eyes were less puffy but still red.

"At least set it on your forehead." Reluctantly he did as I asked. His eyes closing for the remainder of our trip before we made it to the bottom floor. Unsurprisingly seeing Indra getting ready to get on the elevator.

"Your father already left, but Erebus is outside waiting." I smiled and led the way thanking her as I saw the stable boy holding my black gelding.

"Mochof, reshop." I said, smiling at the stable boy who walked away once I had grabbed the reins.

"Bellamy, meet Erebus. Erebus, meet Bellamy." I watched Bellamy approach, as the horse simply gave me a look saying one of two things. 'This is the guy?' or 'yeah, I know him'. And judging from Bellamy and Erebus who seemed to already be best buds, it was definitely the second one.

"Bellamy, have you been making friends with my horse?" I asked, mockingly accusing him.

"No, I'd never. Isn't that right, boy?" I gaped as Bellamy scratched Erebus behind the ears and got the same response only I get.

"You have!" I pointed my finger at him before we both fell into laughter. Erebus looking at us like we had lost our minds. "Okay. Okay, it's time to get home." We finally both calmed down enough that we could talk.

"How are we going to do this?" I bit my bottom lip and looked at Erebus then back to Bellamy's leg that still caused him to limp.

"I'm going to have you get on first." I informed, walking over to the steps to make it easier on Bellamy's leg. "And then I'll swing up and take us back home." I realize with the order I had a risk of kicking Bellamy as I mounted. But it is what it is. He can take it.

"Just set your foot in the stirrup and pull yourself up there. Land lightly though, his kidneys are right there." I informed, holding Erebus steady as Bellamy pushed of the ground and mounted the gelding like a pro. My mouth gaping again before I shut it.

"I've seen uh, you do this a handful of times. And Octavia." Well that answered that question. And his hint of a blush answered my other, it was more than a handful.

"Okay, now scoot back slightly but keep your feet forward. He's got a tickle spot, and I'd rather not have to catch you." Bellamy nodded and did as I asked perfectly. Leaving just enough room for me to sit in the two person saddle. With my left leg in the stirrup, I pushed off the ground and lifted, but instead of swinging behind I went in front somehow managing not to kick Erebus or the pack that hung from the saddle horn. My body settling as far front as comfortable in the saddle as I kicked my bare feet from the stirrups.

"You're going to want to scoot up and place your feet in the stirrups to help with your balance. Additionally, you're going to want to hold on." I didn't have to tell him twice as his feet were firmly set in the stirrups despite the stirrups being a few inches short either side, and his body was right up against mine with his hands wrapped around my hips

"Here we go. Don't be afraid to tell me to slow down. Next time we can go faster." I spoke over my shoulder as I started Erebus to a walk through the empty market square and out towards the path we had taken previously.

He didn't say anything, just kept his hands firmly on my hips as I started taking off into the night. A flashlight in my hand as I pointed it up ahead of us for both of us to see.

At some point I'm convinced that Bellamy had started to cry again, whispering something into the wind, but I couldn't hear as he laid his head on the back of my neck for the rest of the ride.

My heart tearing even further as my own eyes began to blur. He didn't deserve this pain. And if I could, I'd take it away in a heartbeat.