The Thought Of Her

:20:

Marcey's POV

You know when life gets hard it doesn't mean you just give up . It means you just have to try harder to find the good things in life . Especially in love . You only meet the love of your life once . The catch is that you have to find every and which way to make them stay .

In my case it was a failed attempt at a beautiful ending. I almost had that picture perfect imperfect ending .

All I imagined was having two beautiful kids and a warm and cozy house they could grow up in and enjoy their childhood . I pictured a beautiful family . I pictured a gorgeous man with eyes that glowed like no other . A man with caramel skin so perfect it made the other ladies jealous. A soul so precious that it melted everyone's heart as soon as he entered the room .

I once had it in my reach . Sadly it was taken out of my hands . Yes it hurt for a while but everything happens for a reason . You can't just rewind time to see where you or they went wrong . You just seem to accept the fate and go on with life. The pain of  forgetting the past might be unbearable ,but it isn't impossible to overcome . I've seem to always the over come it .Pain isn't eternal .

But what can you do . You can't force someone to change . Even if you beg it just won't happen if they don't want to . It sucks so bad but it's life . Can't force things that aren't meant to be .

I feel so stupid .

Ring

Ring

Ring

"Yes?"

"Uhm .... Marcey 40 just passed he got hit by a car on our way to a party when we were trying to cross the street. " I heard a distressed Chubbs.

"Chubbs...... please ...." my throat felt like it had a knot in it .

"I'm sorry Marcey ."he said .

Nothing Matters right now . I need to get to that house immediately.

I'm racing through the streets of Toronto. Tears clouding my vision.

Anger filling my body . Screams of frustration filled the car . I began banging on the steering wheel trying to release some sort of way .

What I just heard is tearing me to pieces. I don't think it's something I can recover from .

I finally arrived to the house . I run to the door and bang on it . Everyone is there . Aubrey is nowhere to be seen . It's just the crew . They all sat in silence. Tears filling some of their eyes the others with an emotionless face . I rush to the house studio and look around . Memories flash through my mind a million miles a minute.

I fall to my knees and break down .
My silent cries fill the room .

I gather strength to get up and rush up to Aubrey's room .

With tears clouding my eyes I see Aubrey. He looks at me and immediately takes me into his arms . I fall into them screaming and sobbing into his chest.

"HE'S GONE HE'S GONE HE'S GOOOOONEEE!!" I cry .

He holds me tightly. I don't want to let go I just want to be comforted.

He hasn't said a word since I walked in . He just held me .

I look up at him with eyes filled with tears . Dry tears down his cheek adorn his face .

"I'm sorry Aubrey ." I broke the silence.

His hold on me got tighter . I heard him cry 

He just lost his best friend and a long time bond . I just know it's hurting him like hell .

"He's okay now ." My voice faded as I began to cry again .

"Marceyyyy he's gone ." He looked at me more broken than ever .

I placed my hands on each side of his face. .

"Its all gonna be okay . Don't lose it you know he would get angry at you if you did ." I pulled away from his grasp . We stood there without saying a word . You could only hear our soft breathing as we were deep in our thoughts and trying to get a grasp on our new reality. It hurt just to think about it . I don't think we were going to fully recover. Well at least i know I wouldn't. I'm not so good with losses . Usually I tear myself apart and put myself back together. Never fully together. Every time I do so there seems to be a new lost piece . But at least I'm almost all put together.

"Can I please be alone right now." His deep voice cut the silence.

I didn't say a word . I nodded and wiped my tears before walking out gently closing the door behind me.

I went back down stairs and told the crew to update me with all the extra details. They kindly said yes before I headed out .

I was now heading back home to get myself together.

I've had so many losses I can't afford to lose myself.