The Thought Of Her

:13:

                    miss you so - frank ocean

His POV

Her beauty was unmatched . She stood before me looking as if I just met her all over again. I was embarrassed she gave me something so special . I just got up and left like the coward I am .  

She gave me a gift with so much meaning not to just me but to her as well . She always complimented my smile when we were together .

Any time we would go out together and I was happy about what we were doing at that moment of our life. I smiled .

She had always had an anxiety about life . The fact that we lived to die scared her so bad. I always made sure she lived in the moment and helped her just live .

When I saw her just enjoy those moments in life as much as I did I smiled . I smiled at the thought that she was living . Her eyes showed no fear in those moments.

I held her hand when she felt like she was going to start overthinking .  Her breathing would steady and she would come back to normal.

Every one has their flaws she had hers and I had mine . We filled in what was flawed fro each other .

We completed each other's missing pieces that we thought would be impossible to fill on our own .

"I wonder if you'll ever love me again ." I said out loud as I held her picture in my arms.

She is everything and more a man could ask for . She was there to share my fame and fortune with . Most importantly to share my life moments with . She was always there at my shows wether it was in the crowd or back stage . I made sure I caught a glimpse of her before I was on stage . She calmed my nerves even after performing for years I still got nervous.

I'm at her door step with a bouquet of  cherry blossoms her favorite .  I had to make up for the jerk move I pulled earlier.

I took a deep breath before I knocked .

She opened it and there she was wearing a stunning black silk dress that hugged every curve of her body .

My mouth hung slightly open at the sight of her .

"You remembered ." Tears brimmed her eyes as she looked down at the cherry blossoms .

"yeah ." I let out a nervous chuckle . I scratched the back of my neck .

"You never remembered after our wedding ." A single tear fell down her cheek .

I quickly wiped it away . It hurt watching her cry . Any woman in that case . My mother always told me to be a gentleman and console them .

But when Marcey cried for something that was my fault  it hurt . It hurt a so bad that it felt like I had a sword right through my heart .

"I'm sorry." I said  as I felt my heart tear into a million pieces .

She looked up at me with a soft smile .

Her hand reached to grab my face . She gently placed it on my cheek . My body shivered . She hasn't touched me in forever that it felt foreign in a good kind of way .

My hand grabbed hers and held it tight .

I missed her touch .

"You don't understand how much I missed and needed you ." I said as I felt warm tears fall down my eyes as they were shut .

"This pain was so horrible I don't think I want to go through that again." She said as she backed away slowly.

"Sometimes it's not right for couples to come back together and just  destroy eachother again . And I know you finally regret everything you did well at least I think you did . And I just don't think I want to feel like someone smashed a bottle on my head . A pain that just  stays there and the out of sight scar in the back of my head is just like how the memory is still there . It's a reminder that life wasn't so perfect. For a second it was great then came the hurt crashing down on me with every ounce of power it has . I don't think I'm ready to revisit that a million more times ." She said before she shut the door in my face .

I didn't know how to react or what to say . I was stunned trying to take everything in . It was all so bipolar . As if a bomb of emotions and thoughts just exploded at that very moment in time .

I wasn't hurt , but I wasn't happy . I was ......

Angry