His Dark Embrace

54- Scars of Love

I have started a new book "Betrayal" do give it a chance

https://www.wattpad.com/story/246217536-betrayal

The book is a dark romance book

****************

Please do follow if you like this book

Myra PoV

The ache is dull, but the memories are painful, I recall how my body jarred with each strike, how the pain perforated through my skin by the very same man who should be my protector, my strength, my power, my love, he was my hero and villain in my life, I should not find love, care and affection from one who hurts me, I felt numb yet somehow in agony, Rudra was successful to turn every moment we spent together into painful memories, he pierced my soul and heart. These memories will torture the soul of my life; I would never able to escape them.

I blurrily notice Rudra hoisting me from the bathroom in his arms, I saw him with my squinted eyes, he looked at the damage he caused to me intently but he couldn't look up, witness my face, I forced my eyes to remain wide open, I wanted to see him suffer, from his body posture, slow breathing, and pain-stricken face, I could read that he knew he had done something pretty dreadful which would never have any validation, the guilt will tear down him but he would swallow this burden of guilt in his life every moment.

Rudra tends my battered body softly, he touch was like soft feathers, he applies ointment slowly almost on my entire body, I could feel his fingers tremble whenever he touches my bruises followed by a rush of tears on my body, he is crying silently, he sat beside me still thinking I am unconscious but I was wide awake to witness as his lips trembled and his shoulders heaved with defeat, his long dark lashes brimmed heftily with tears; his hands clenched into shaking fists, in a desperate battle against himself which was lost long ago.

He wept aloud, heaving sobs tearing from his throat, the sobs drove him to his knees, the urge to see him in pain is superseded with an inexplicable feeling of loss and coldness, there is no relief, the ache in my heart amplified up to tenfold, how I wish not to witness his broken state, I really wished I was unconscious.

********

The days followed with the routine of Rudra helping me bathe, dress, eat, applying ointment to the bruises, and repeat, he had no courage to utter a word, forget a word he can't even face me, his looks everywhere but never angled his vision towards my face, he has to understand this one day he has to face me, look into my eyes and let me go, he cannot run always, I wanted to fight, scream, yell, I want to express my fear and hurt, I just wanted the ache to fade away, but seeing him like I couldn't form even a single word, though he hasn't occurred a word, but I know he is suffering and hurting, every time I wake up in the middle of the night, he asleep in an uncomfortable position on the floor, his head rested on his arms, his other arms rested my leg and upper body rested over the bed, one more constant thing, that both his palms are bandaged every day I see fresh blood stain on his dressing, not only mentally but he is hurting himself physically every day, but still he refused to speak.

Some more days passed, my body is almost healed, Rudra visit less often now as I am able to do things by myself, the silence between us is killing me, I can hardly stand muteness between us, I can't suffer and let him suffer in silence, silence is getting louder every passing second and I have to do something about it.

"Rudra" I called his name as I saw his bare palms with so many scars, some old, some new, he couldn't answer me, and he definitely could not look at me.

I took his palms in mine and gently brushed across them, harming yourself won't fix anything "Rudra you cannot do this to yourself" I wiped the fresh blood and dressed his wounds

He looked down at the floor in response, after dressing his both palms and I cupped his face made him look at me, his eyes shifted sideways and became glazed with layers of tears, he shut his mouth in an attempt to hide any sound, seeing this my heart sank deeper.

"Look at me" I urged

"I can't," he says in total defeat as his shoulder slumped downwards

"You have to Rudra" I persist

Gradually he faces me "Promise me you won't harm yourself this way"

"I am sorry Myra, I don't deserve your forgiveness, and there would never be a justification for what I did to you, I have no explanation for this, please don't forgive me ever, but I want you to know I am extremely sorry, I would not try and offer an explanation for what I did, I am sorry for the times I hurt you, all I can do is promise to try to be better in the future, if there is a future, I hope you understand how broken I am inside, I never intend to hurt you in any form, but I always ending hurting in so many ways, but I always loved you and I will always love you" his voice shakes as his eyes meet mine, he tries to gulp a sob, but fails miserably he fell down on his knees, crying hysterically, from his mouth came a cry so raw, that immediately broke me in tears, my breathing hitched as my knees grew weak and I slumped on the cold titles beside him, I watched Rudra shake with grief, tears flowing, and part of me breaking with him.

"Take this knife and plunge in my heart, but please don't hate me, I can live with the fact you don't love me anymore, just don't hate me please" the sobbing continuous as he hands me over the knife

I hugged him immediately tight in my arms "I will always love you no matter what" I realize what I said, this love has made us insane, this love is dangerous, we share a love that leaves scars, this love is slicing us open with every touch, this love is utterly ruining us, the scariest part of this relationship we both knew at some point of time how bad we are for each other and yet that didn't stop us from loving, maybe we are better without each other, this love has drained us, exhausted us and destroyed us...............

Rudra POV

The moment I was out of the room, I realized the binding damage I have caused, moments before I was burning in rage and anger and now I have no excuse, I own my behavior, regret washed over me like long waves on the beach, each wave sent shivers down my spine, this remorse would eat me alive, remorseful and guilty, that was how I felt at the very moment, I badly wished to go back, rectify the mistake the worst of all I have done, but it is impossible, I had live with it now, remorse engraved at my heart, a tear trickled down my cheek, the darkness has settled deeper inside of me, the ache is heart is unbearable, her pleads and scream echoed in my ears, I feel empty, her begging voice gave me chill in my blood, a dark void, it is consuming everything in me.

Taking a deep breath, I prepared myself to enter the room, the room was quiet, suddenly I became aware of the sound in the shower, the sound of cascading water, however, there was no sound of her, finally, I made my legs move towards the bathroom, she was on the cold titles, her pale body jarred with my brutality.

I laid her on the bed, tears began to spill seeing her broken form, she is my everything, she was home for my soul, the home which I burned with my own hands, I treated her wounds and did possibly everything to make me feel better physically, but the scars I have given to her soul would never fade.

Every day I want to apologize but seeing her all numb and void of any emotions seals my lips shut, but also I knew the fact there is no forgiveness for what I had done, I can't even face her now, I am nothing but an abusive coward bastard.

I felt guilt in form of sorrow, shame, and an intense desire to make amends, this guilt is pestering me, a fire burned in my mind, and I know it's too late to make an amend, I have lost myself and most importantly I have lost her.............

A/n:

His Dark Embrace is proceeding towards its end :(

How was the chapter?

A very emotional chapter, I really hope you people liked it, I am hoping for some amazing feedback.

I really hope you guys are still interested in the story

Do vote and comment, also do follow me :)