Blessed With A Curse

Chapter 36

Every night I sat up with Blair for hours. Sleep was becoming unknown for me. It was the only time I'd get to spend with her, to know she getting better. She was always asleep, it was better that way, I'd rather she didn't know I was here. It was wrong I was there, it was wrong how I'd obsessively watch over her but still every night I returned. She started to look better, her colour returning, she even began muttering in her sleep. I was unable to catch the words but I listened intently, wanting to know some idea on how she felt. Her surrounding areas was filled with flowers and get well soon cards. I felt a Pang of jealousy when I saw one from Ron and Harry, I knew I shouldn't have. She was no longer mine and I could no longer dictate who her friends were, not that she ever allowed me to in the first place. I'd never realised how many friends she'd had, but it wasn't a shock, she was the most amazing person I'd ever met and that was clearly what everyone else thought. Neville brought her many gifts, chocolates? Like she's capable of eating chocolates. But I guess the thought was nice, it was an overwhelming feeling knowing how so many people cared for her and she chose me. Past tense because I'd be the last person she'd ever want to see again. I had to savour these moments now when I could see her because when she gets better, she won't want anything to do with me and that's the hardest part of it all. It was the safest way but I'd still want her to chose me, as selfish as that was, I wanted her to feel the love as desperately as I did. But that was long gone now, that much was clear.

She tossed and turned all night, wincing at the pain whenever she moved. It should have been a sign for me to leave, to know she could wake at any given moment but I stayed in my chair, my eyes glued to the most beautiful face. It was pathetic, I was pathetic.

Her lashes started to flutter open but I didn't move. I was desperate to see the emerald green, praying that the colour of them hadn't been wiped too. She flinched back slightly when her eyes finally opened, still the most vivid green. The dark lighting must have cast a dark shadow over me, either that or she was scared of me. Probably both. She didn't say anything, she just stared at me, the most painful expression embedded on her features. I got up to leave, embarrassed but she clutched on to my hand weakly, her face turning sour by the pain it caused. I instantly fell back into my seat, now wanting her to hurt herself. The silence still lingered in the room, our eyes locked onto one another's, her hand holding mine. She finally dropped it and I begged for her touch again, instantly missing it, I had to control myself.
"What are you doing here?" Her voice was foreign, weak. It sounded like she hadn't spoken in weeks and she probably hadn't. Because i'd hurt her, because I almost got her killed again.
"I just came to see if you were alright." I said nervously, afraid of her reaction. I should have known I was going to get caught at some point. She glanced over at the clock and then back at me.
"It's three am Draco." She confirmed. I'd been here three hours, but it felt like ten minutes. "You look tired." She commented. I looked tired? She was concerned about me being tired when she'd just had a near death experience.
"How are you feeling?" I nearly chocked on the words, my guilt getting the better of me.
"I mean I've been better." She said blandly. "Do you come here often?" She asked and I felt the sudden shame hit like a charging train. I must look like a freak.
"I just had to make sure you was ok." I tried to avoid her question but she knew the answer was yes.
"Why did you give that necklace to Katie?" She asked and I quickly shook my head. Why isn't she telling me to get out? Why isn't she screaming at me? "You need to tell me Draco." Her hand brushed over mine but I slipped my hand back into my pocket.
"Why did you take it out the bag?" My anger started to come back. Angry that she'd put her hand in that stupid bag, that she'd endangered herself. No. I endangered her. This was my fault.
"I asked you a question first." She tried to argue but her body was giving up, I saw the strain in her arms as she tried to hold herself up, the dragging of her eyelids, desperate for some sleep. Without another thought, I laid a gentle kiss on her forehead.
"You need to rest." Before she could argue any further, I shot out the exit, the tears beginning to brew in my eyes. It would be so much easier if she hated me, but I was glad she didn't. Not yet anyways.

I had to force myself to not sneak in the hospital wing anymore, now she knew I went there, it had to stop. I worked on the vanishing cabinet by myself, Pansy in a mood with me after what I said. I regretted it slightly, missing her company. At least her moaning was able to distract me from my thoughts. Tonight I had a new mission. Blair was thankfully tucked up in bed, so nearly killing her for the second time was thankfully off the cards. Slughorn was hosting a Christmas party for his best students, me not being one of them. Blaise had offered for me to be his plus one but I declined, needing to be behind the scenes. He took Pansy instead and of course she took the opportunity to wear the most revealing outfit she had, her breasts almost spilling out from her tight black dress. She thought she looked hot, the entire male students not being able to stop their eyes wondering. She loved it. I was certainly not one of them men. Her tits did nothing for me, apart from making me feel awfully sick. She's made her best efforts to push them in my face, like they weren't already out enough, I didn't give her the satisfaction.
"Do you not own a dress that fits?" I spat, earning a furious glare from the slut herself.
"Have a good night by yourself, you absolute bore!" She snapped back and I just chuckled. She hated that I was the only one who didn't cave in.

As soon as the even started, I snuck myself in, heading straight for Slughorns office. He's gotten a gift for the Dumbledore.
"I don't mind if I do." I hummed, downing the drink quickly. Once finished, I poured in the poison. The quicker this was done, the quicker I'd no longer have to think about it. I placed it back where I'd found it, praying that this time it would work. If he gave it him before Christmas, Dumbledore would be dead before we all got back. Leaving me more time on the Cabinet. That's how I had to see it, the only way I could see it. I'd almost gotten away with it if wasn't for Filches beady eyes. His dirty finger nails piercing through my skin as he dragged me through the party, everyone's eyes latching onto mine, their mouths gawking.
"Get your hands off me you filthy squib!" I protested.
"Professor Slughorn, I just found this boy lurking in an upstairs corridor." When he spoke I could just smell his rancid breathe, my face instantly disgusted. He just loved to be a grass didn't he. Found great pleasure in it. "He claims to be invited to your party." He went onto telling him my lie.
"Okay, okay I was gate crashing!" I spat, releasing myself from his torturous hold.
"I'll escort him out." Snape slithered in. His face pained by my appearance.
"Certainly," I looked him up and down. "Professor." I seethed.
"What the hell are you doing!" He spat, grabbing my arm, pulling me around like a doll. "You're this close to being expelled!" He held up his fingers showing a small gap in between them.
"Do it!" I interjected. He shoved me against the wall, his patients completely lost as he towered over me. Rage flooded his eyes, his lips in a tight line.
"I swore to protect you!" He spat. My mothers work, why did she have to get in the way? I could handle this on my own. "I made the unbreakable vow!" His voice heaved with anger.
"I don't need protection!" I screeched through gritted teeth. "I was chosen for this. Not you! Me! I won't fail him." I spat.
"You're afraid Draco." He looked deep into my eyes. Possibly trying to read my mind but thanks to him I could block it out. "You attempt to conceal it but it's obvious, so let me help you." He lowered his voice, a hint of desperation. I did need him, I wished I could let him have it all but I couldn't. Mine and my mothers life depended on it. I couldn't give up.
I looked away from his tortured face, not willing to give him an answer. When I did my eyes caught onto those green ones. She quickly popped her head back around the corner. What was she doing out of bed?
"I think you have an intruder you need to speak to." He commented, releasing my blazer from his tight grip.

I bolted round the corner but she'd disappeared. She couldn't hide from me there was only one other place she could be and I stormed down there straight away. She was wrapped up in bed, the covers hiding her, pretending to be asleep. I couldn't help but laugh at her awful attempt. My anger instantly diminishing.
"You're not a very good spy." I chuckled, pulling down the covers exposing her. Even shocked she had a small smile on her face, I'd missed that. "You shouldn't be walking around anyways you're meant to be resting." I said with a more serious tone. She pulled the covers back over, pretending to go back to sleep. "Not that easily," I pulled them back. "What did you hear?" I asked.
"Nothing." She lied.
"Blair I've know you well enough to know when you're lying." I gave her a stern look and she simply rolled her eyes. "You don't need to concern yourself in this." I finished.
"So it's okay for you to keep checking up on me but I can't with you?" She eyed me, annoyance clear.
"Don't start-" I tried but was interrupted.
"You can leave now." She pulled the covers back, rolling over, away from me. She was pleasant for just a second and then back to this. I deserved it anyways.
"Fine." I huffed, walking away. I just had to hope she hadn't heard anything, she couldn't be apart of this.