The Alpha's Boy {Man x Man}

{SIX}

It was five in the morning, and I laid awake in my bedroom, paralyzed from the dreams that were haunting me.

I didn't dream very much, and normally when I did they were nightmares. I found that if I had something in my system I would sleep better, longer, deeper. I wouldn't dream if I was high.

That was how it started. Rule and Taylor had given me my first taste of weed, it was a bit stronger than what a human would smoke, laced with things that would kill a normal person. After I had gotten high, we played a game on the Xbox and I went to bed. I was thirteen, and I hadn't had a restful sleep in years, and that night I slept like a baby. I didn't wake up until after one the next day.

It was the best feeling in the world.

It started with laced weed, which turned into weed mixed with sleeping pills, then molly, molly mixed.

It's just turned into whatever Taylor can get their hands on and can give to me. I didn't just chase the high, I chased the restful sleep, the clear mind.

I hadn't taken anything since before lunch. After supper I didn't bother taking anything either, knowing that my dads were on high alert. So it was no surprise to me when I slept like garbage and had nightmares. I had tossed and turned, waking up in cold sweats.

I couldn't really remember them, but I do know who was there.

Her dark hair, her blue eyes, she looked so much like my dad at times that it could be off-putting.

Raylin was someone you thought you could trust, someone who would laugh at your jokes, smile at your face while holding a knife behind their back.

She didn't seem much older than I was she was a hybrid, her aging would be slower, more delicate. So when I was growing up I would turn to her for comfort. She was my best friend for years. She was her father's right hand, but she made it seem like she wasn't, she made it seem like she was sweet and innocent.

I could see her face in the back of my mind. That smile.

I laid awake in bed afterward, her laugh echoing in my head that I needed to shake off, my body ached as I pulled myself up from the pillow. I leaned over, reaching for the nearby canister that I moved over towards my bed. I took two pills from it, taking them quickly and laying back down as tears peaked my eyes.

I didn't want to do this, I didn't want to hurt the people around me with the things I was doing. But I didn't want to be hurting on the inside without it. People could preach therapy all they wanted at me, tell me that I needed it. Silas and Darren had signed me up years ago to see someone, but I refused, and it caused us so many fights, so many hurt feelings, and bad words tossed around. Silas still brings it up, telling me how much better I'd feel if I spoke with someone. But I couldn't, I didn't want to open myself up to somebody again and get stabbed in the back. I didn't want to hear them laugh at how pathetic I was.

Once the pills kicked in and the numbness started to fill my body I finally felt well enough to get up and walk around the house, go make a coffee and be a normal person for a few hours. Before I need to feel again and take something else to make my body feel some type of way.

I walked into the kitchen as quiet as I could, only to be greeted with the face of my dad, sitting at the island with a hot mug in his hands. Darren didn't look up right away, his brows were knitted together as he was deep in thought. I didn't want to bother him. I had half the mind to turn around and head back upstairs. Say screw it to the coffee and try and go back to sleep. But it was too late because Darren had his eyes on me, those intense grey eyes that looked deep into your soul. Silas had made the comment to me before. That he couldn't tell Darren a lie, because his eyes would see right through it.

"What are you doing up?" He asked, I walked towards the cupboard and took a mug out, then gestured to the kettle.

"Alister." I froze, I looked at him, I'm sure my eyes told him how caught off guard I was by him calling me by my full name. We never used it, hardly ever. Unless I was in trouble. I didn't mind so much hearing my name, I just wasn't used to it anymore. Not that I was overly used to it before, back when I lived with Charles everyone called me Ali.

I started calling myself Star when I was by myself mostly, I liked the sound of it, it was cool, and it was different. It was something that saved me. Everyone around me called me Ali, Charles and Ray called me Alister, but I was Star. It was something I had for myself.

But Darren wasn't mad, his tone was soft, he didn't want to fight with me, not with that look on his face. "Listen, I know this isn't easy for you. I don't want you to leave, I wish everything we did here was enough to help you." He took a deep breath, and I found myself holding mine. I felt uncomfortable, uneasy with where this was heading.

"Your dad and I just want what's best for you. We want you to be happy, without having to be in the clouds all day. You don't see yourself Star. You've thinned out, your skins getting dry. Drugs might not affect you like it would a human, your face may not be broke open, but you're still sick Star. Everyone can see it. Your skin is dry and pale, your eyes are glassy and bloodshot. Your hair is frizzy and cracking. You don't look like yourself. I just want you to be yourself. I know, — I know you've gone through some shit kid. I know whatever shit they did to you wasn't easy. I just hope whatever demons you're battling will get the shit kicked out of them. Because you're one of the strongest kids I know Alister. I just wish you could see what everyone else sees when they look at you. Because we all see a fighter. You're a fighter, and you'll kick ass because you're my kid." He looked me in the eyes, his words sucking whatever air was left in my lungs out, I bit my lip as we stood in the kitchen, eyes looking into one another as we stood a counter apart. "And you'll always be my kid. Got it?"

I quickly, and numbly nodded my head, tears in my eyes as Darren's arms warped around my shoulders and head. "It's going to be ok," He said soothingly as we stood in the kitchen.

The kitchen that only had us, the lights turned low, the sink dripping every now and then. It was at that moment that I knew how much I would miss home. I had to do this for home. I had to get better so I could come home.