Wonderful | wicked | book 2/3

Elphie

He hates me.
I don't blame her, I hate myself too.
I hate myself for coming back here the second time in three weeks.
Madame Morribles cell.
I've come here just to shout and berate her with things that are barley even her fault.
I open the cell door, her nasty old face lights up as I step inside.
"Elphaba, it's wonderful to see you again," she snarls, "any new things that are my fault?"
I clench and unclench my hands.
Moria looks devilishly happy.
I crouch down in front of her,
"Why did you do it?" I ask bluntly, anger filling my head "why make me curse those animals,"
Madame Morrible cackles, her eyes flashing with excitement.
"Power," she whispers.
I pace around the musty cell, all light that enters through the tiny barred windows seems to get swallowed up by the masses of cobwebs and dust that coat the crevices of this dismal room.
I can't stand to be here anymore.

I left the prison about an hour ago, I sent myself to Shiz, I know that Nessa isn't going to want to see me but I have to make emends with her.
I knock cautiously on the door to her and Dr Dillamonds office.
The door opens suddenly, Dr Dillamonds face peers round it.
"Elphaba," he whispers hoarsely "how wonderful, come on in."
I'm beckoned over to take a seat and Dr Dillamond hovers around me anxiously.
"I'm guessing your here to see your sister?" He asks solemnly,
I nod my head, Dr Dillamond folds his arms tightly and lowers his brow.
"Your lucky, Miss Galinda just left, I believe she would have a stern thing for two to say"
Dr Dillamond sighs, and leans against the desk, he coughs violently for a few minutes.
He looks so out of breath.
I jump up off of my chair and practically push him down onto it.
Feeling that there's nothing else I can do to help him.
"I've been quite worried about your sister, Elphaba" Dr Dillamond says, after regaining his breath "I do hope you make up, she doesn't seem quite right."
At that statement, I quickly wrap up our conversation and walk quietly towards Nessas bedroom.
I open the door slowly.
She's in her chair, in the middle of the room facing away from the door.
"Ness," I mumble, completely oblivious to the face that she'd already turned around.
"Oh Nessa!" I cry, rushing to her feet.

Nessa doesn't look particularly happy to see me.
"Elphaba what are you doing here?" She growls, "I told you to leave,"
Nessa isn't playing around, there's a genuine hatred in her voice, a hatred of me.
"Nessa please," I say fumbling for something to say "Dr Dillamond is worried about you"
Nessa turns herself away,
"God I wish I could storm out dramatically," she says, breathing deeply, "I'm not happy with you"
I turn her back around, so that she's looking at me.
"You don't have to be, I just want you to take care of yourself."

Nessa seems so distant, I watch her pace a hand on her thigh and suddenly her hand jerks and pinches.
I look at her and grab her hand in alarm, Nessa quickly jerks it away.
"Nessa what are you doing?" I cry, staring gently into my sisters eyes.
"Nothing," she snaps "it's just a habit, somthing I do when I'm worried."
I walk around the room, over to one of Nessas set of draws, there's wooden box on top of it, I open it without even batting an eyelid.
There's pictures, my pictures, in side of it but what really catches my eyes is something old and familiar.
Nessas leg braces.
I pick them up and hold them triumphantly our towards her.
"Put these on," I say sternly, shaking the braces.
Nessa looks horrified, but I know what I'm doing.
"Put those back!" She cries, pushing herself frantically towards me, "it's not like they even do anything,"
Nessa looks so distraught, I feel awful but I'm sure that I know what I'm doing.
"If they don't work..." I say calmly "then what's the harm in just putting them on?"

Nessa shrieks loudly and practically flings her arms out and snatches them away from my hands, she hurls them hurriedly away from her.
"Elphaba I'm not putting them on, I can't show anymore signs of weakness"
Nessa starts to cry, I'm bend down and hold her hands, she snatches them away from me and looks at me in disgust.
"Ness, your not weak," I say sadly, I know I've caused her so much pain but showing them to her but I was the only way I was going to get her to open up to me.
"Yes I am," Nessa flails her arms around and makes a motion around her chair "this is a weakness," she barks,
I don't understand.
"It wouldn't be like this if you had just..." she stops and breaths slowly for a few seconds, "if Boc had just told me he was happy then I'd have known that I'd done good"
Nessas still crying,
"Ness I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't have stopped him I was being selfish"
Nessa nods and turns herself away from me.
"How can I be a role model when I don't even believe in myself?" She says hopelessly "Elphaba I need you to leave,"
I scamper to the front of her chair and hover by the door.
"Ness I said I'm sorry,"
She shakes her head slowly,
"Elphie just go, I'm done talking with you about this, your just making it worse."

I step outside the room and close the door behind me, I place my head against the door and listen to my sister sobbing through the thick wood.
She can't keep ignoring her problems and expecting them to go away.
They won't,
They can't.
I know she's mad at me and I know that I've been an idiot but I can't make it right if she keeps telling me to leave whenever she gets overwhelmed.