The story of my life

Chapter 13

Warning: This could trigger anxiety or depression. It's not severe, but it could possibly. Just as a warning.

7th Grade, everybody! This takes place at the beginning of the year.

I walked through my school's hall, heading toward music class.

I was very excited, my music teacher was going to announce who is going to Six Flags to perform. Only 30 people will make the cut, and 10 of them are extras, in case someone can't make it.

I played the trumpet, and Leslie did too. She was better than me, but I'll admit, I really wanted to go. So, sorry Leslie, but I hope you don't make it. I still love you, though.

I walked into the the music classroom and sat down next to Leslie. She smiled at me, and I smiled back.

"Alright, students!" Ms. Torres, my music teacher called. "Here we go! The trombones! Amelia P, Fredrick S, Megan T...." 

She continued to read out names. I tuned her out until she called, "Trumpets!"

"Okay, this was really hard. I had to look at every little detail, and came to this decision. Trumpets going are Sammy H, Mark M, Olivia B, Daniel W, and Leslie G."

My jaw dropped. I was the only other trumpet player.

Leslie jumped up and down and hugged Olivia, who was sitting to her right.

She turned to hug me, and I hugged her, but inside, I was hurt. I was the only other trumpet player. That basically means that I'm not good enough.

Was it my size? Maybe I'm too fat. Was it my playing? Maybe I should practice two times a day. Was it my grades? I should study harder.

I was quiet the whole day. I didn't eat lunch. If I was too fat, I had to fix that. The next big performance is at the end of the year. If I start a diet now, I should be skinny enough to go.

At the end of school, Leslie pulled me aside.

"Willow, is there something wrong?" she asked, her brow furrowing.

"No, nothing is wrong." I stated, trying to get out of her grip. I started walking, but she grabbed my arm.

"Let go of me!" 

"No, I want to know what's going on." She insisted. Her eyes were soft, and concerned.

My hair whirled as I tried to get out of her grip.

But she would not let go.

I finally stopped struggling and let my arm hang limply. I was too tired to do anything.

"Is it something I did?" she asked.

I hesitated, then nodded.

"Is it because of music?"

I hesitated, then nodded once more.

"What did I do?" She asked.

I burst.

"I'll tell you what you did. You got into the program, you get to go to Six Flags. But I work just as hard as you, I should get to go too. I'm the only other trumpet player. I deserve to be there. But no, instead, you and Sammy and Olivia and Mark and Daniel get to go." I hissed. "You don't deserve to go, you and the others. They need me, not you." 

I clamped a hand over my mouth and instantly knew I had gone too far.

Tears shined in Leslie's eyes. She let go of my arm.

"Is that what you really think?" She whispered.

"Leslie, I-" I stuttered.

"No, I get it. You don't want me around. I don't know what I thought you were, I don't even know why I'm your friend!" She cried, turning around. She started walking down the street.

"Leslie, wait!" I called desperately.

"I don't want to hear it." Leslie's voice was icy.

She started walking faster, soon she was out of sight.

"Wait!" My voice cracked as I called out.

I walked to the nearest bus stop and sat down, my face in my hands.

What had I done?!

The bus came and I climbed on.

I sat down and put my headphones on, connecting them to my laptop.

I turned on Spotify, and chose a random playlist.

Taylor Swift's song 'Breathe' came on.

I see your face in my mind as I drive away,
'Cause none of us thought it was gonna end that way
People are people,
And sometimes we change our minds
But it's killing me to see you go after all this time

Music starts playin' like the end of a sad movie,
It's the kinda ending you don't really wanna see
'Cause it's tragedy and it'll only bring you down,
Now I don't know what to be without you around

And we know it's never simple,
Never easy
Never a clean break, no one here to save me
You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand,

And I can't,
Breathe,
Without you,
But I have to,
Breathe,
Without you,
But I have to

Never wanted this, never wanna see you hurt
Every little bump in the road I tried to swerve
People are people,
And sometimes it doesn't work out,
Nothing we say is gonna save us from the fall out,

Tears gathered in my eyes.

Great job, Spotify. Now I'm crying. I deserve it. I was rude, I knew it.

The song ended with the verse,

Sorry sorry
Sorry sorry
Sorry sorry

I climbed off the bus in tears.

What in the world had I done?!

Well, now that you've read this chapter, I hope you don't think too poorly of me. I am a horrible person, I know it.

And this chapter, ladies and gentlemen, is an example of an overreaction.

Do NOT do what I did.

If I could go back in time, would I redo how this turned out?

Yeah, I would.

If I could renew my friendship with Leslie, would I?

Yes, a million times yes...