Esme's Diary

Chapter 22 - Awakening

Dear Diary,

Gosh, it feels good to write that again.

I must admit, I am as surprised as you are that I am writing in you again. I can honestly say, without a shadow of a doubt, that I never thought I would write in you again after my last entry.

And yet, here I am.

Things have changed dramatically since I finished my last entry on the top of the cliff; during my intentions to join Jonathon and Robert. Let me tell you about it. I will do my best to explain everything although my memory of that time is, shall we say, vague.

I did indeed jump from the cliff. I don’t remember what I was thinking as I fell. Just that it felt as if I was flying. I remember closing my eyes, waiting for the impact, the blow. I still don’t remember feeling the fall, or any pain at all. All I can remember is waiting for Jonathon and Robert to come and collect me.

And the lights.

I can remember the lights clearly. Although I knew my eyes were closed, the darkness was disrupted by an extremely bright white light flickering.

I remember smelling this awful smell after a while. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, but thinking about it now it smelled like……Death.

Hadn’t I passed over yet? Was I still stuck in this body? The body I had been so eager and ready to say goodbye to. The body I needed to say goodbye to.

Had I failed at another thing? Had I failed at joining my boys? They hadn’t come for me yet.

In the distance I could hear voices. Forcing myself to listen, they seemed to creep closer. I was only able to make out the odd word here and there.

“Jumped.”

“Gone.”

“No point.”

“Morgue.”

I knew they were talking about me; I had jumped from the cliff. But they were wrong – I wasn’t gone. I wanted to go, oh Lord how much I want to go. I wanted to be with Robert and Jonathon. Please take me, I thought.

My thoughts were interrupted by a different voice; a smooth voice that I vaguely recognised.

“I’ll take it from here boys, I’m heading down there anyway,” said the familiar voice. His tone was filled with such love and compassion. Unlike any other man, his voice sounded somewhat like a purr. It wasn’t gruff or coarse. It was like velvet.

Running through as many memories as I could, I desperately tried to remember where I knew this voice from. Had I not felt like there was a great weight lying on top of me I would have jumped at what happened next.

“Esme? I know your still in there, if you can hear me then listen to my voice. I am going to help you. But your life will be different, different from anything you know. What I am about to do will hurt. It will hurt a lot, but I can’t let you die.”

There were so many different thought’s swishing through my head. How did this person know my name? Had I met them before? Had I had anything on me with my name on it?

No.

I was certain I didn’t.

Where was Jonathon? And Robert? He had promised me that they would come for me.

“Please come for me,” I wished silently to Jonathon.

Can’t let me die? What was the familiar voice talking about? I wanted to die, I wanted to go and be with my boys. That was the whole reason for doing what I had done.