Esme's Diary

Chapter 7 - Alone

I spent the next week either at my parents’ house or at Evie’s. I was trying to keep myself occupied so I didn’t feel the urge to walk to my tree. I walked around my parent’s farm a lot, but nothing compared to my little sanctuary.

Every time I closed my eyes all I could see was his face. I dare not say his name either. Saying his name conjurers up feelings that are dangerous. Charles’ family and friends are all around and I cannot even begin to comprehend what he would do to me if he found out I had feelings for someone else…. Oh my goodness, I have feelings for him.

Oh Dear.

It’s been a week now since I last went to my tree and met Johnathon. I’m hoping that he thought it was a one off, my being there that is. So today, after a particularly uneventful day I have decided to take a walk out to my tree. Luckily nobody was there.

I sat down, leaned against the rough trunk of my tree and closed my eyes, the bark of my tree digging itself into my back. I liked it though. I figured that it being uncomfortable was my punishment for my improper thoughts. I could feel myself relaxing as each second breezed by. The smell of the grass filled my nose, the birds chirped in the tree tops above, the lonely bumble bee collected nectar from the flowers. I allowed myself to relax so much I could hear all this. I lost myself in the freedom of being there, digging my feet into the grass when I heard a crack. I looked up, my heart pounding as there he was, Johnathon. Smiling down at me.

“I thought you’d never come back,” he said, smiling at me. A look of relief on his face.

“I thought you would have given up by now. I thought I made myself clear Johnathon,” I said, my voice sounding harsh, not the way I had wanted to sound.

“May I sit with you Esme?” He asked,

I wanted to say no, I wanted to be left alone. I ended up just shrugging.

Johnathon sat down next to me and smiled. “I’ve been here every day waiting for you to return Esme. You kept me waiting a long time.”

“Johnathon, I thought I explained myself last time, this is not a good idea. My husband is serving in the war at the moment. His friends and family live close by and I am certain he wouldn’t be pleased with me for speaking to you.” My voice quivered as I spoke. I winced, remembering the abuse I had endured whilst Charles had been here. Johnathon must have noticed the wince; he sighed and mumbled something under his breath.

“Excuse me?” I asked, part of me wanting to know what he had mumbled and the other half afraid to know.

“Look, I’m sorry Esme, but I’m not stupid. You don’t know me but I have seen you around for years. I’ve wanted to talk to you for a long time and just as I had plucked up the courage to talk to you I heard you had gotten married. So I decided it was probably best not to bother you.”

“Johnathon? Why are you telling me this now? Why didn’t you just leave it once you knew I was married?” I asked, intrigued by his story.

“Well, like I said, I was going to. But then I saw you with him, and I knew right then and there that something wasn’t right…”

“How?” I was extremely intrigued now.

“The light had gone from your eyes, you looked scared… terrified actually. I knew then what he was doing but I wanted more proof. I didn’t see you for a while after that, and then all of a sudden you were walking towards me on the street. You were looking down, trying to shield yourself from people looking at you, that is when I noticed the bruise on the side of your face. It looked like it had faded. I knew then I had to help you. But I never saw you again, until that day at the tree. It was pure chance I saw you there. I was just taking a walk, thinking about things and there you were, freezing. And then yesterday when you spoke about him you started shaking.”