Esme's Diary

Chapter 11 - Dreams

I laid there, completely dumbfounded.

That was something I hadn’t expected. I stared into Johnathon’s beautiful chocolate brown eyes. I couldn’t bring myself to say anything, and to be honest, I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t want to hurt him. I loved him too much to say something that might hurt him – but I needed to explain why I didn’t know what to say.

“Johnathon, I…..”

He placed his index finger on my lips, silencing me. I wondered if my eyes were showing fear.

“Esme, I know what I am asking is a huge step for you. I also know that you can’t just get up and leave. But what I will ask is that you think about it. And if you do decide to leave with me then the only thing I will ask is that we leave before Charles returns. As soon as we hear of his return then I want to leave. I cannot stand to see that man hurt you again. Please Esme, think about it.”

“Johnathon, I will think about it. That I promise you. Charles is leaving in 2 days and I am not prepared to make a decision until we know whether he is coming back or not. What we have at the moment is perfect and I don’t want to ruin it!”

Johnathon didn’t say anything else. I think he may have been slightly upset by what I had said, but I couldn’t just up and leave like that. If I did decide to leave, then I wanted time to say goodbye to some people.

Evie, for one.

She was my best friend and the one person that knew about Johnathon and me. I couldn’t leave without saying goodbye to her.

The next day I went to see Evie. I didn’t know exactly what to say to her. I knocked on her door and as I waited for her to answer I thought about how I was going to tell her about Johnathon’s proposition. When she answered the door she saw the happiness glow from every pore in my body and the sparkle in my eyes again. Right then and there she knew I had found someone I would be really truly happy with.

She hugged me and told me that I could tell her anything, so that’s what I did. I told her everything from Charles being home from the war for a week –and what he had done to me – to what Johnathon had asked of me. She was full of pure joy for me.

“Esme,” she began. “I’m so glad you have now found Johnathon. I believe you should run away with him and be happy once and for all. I just ask one thing, please. Just stay in touch with me whenever you can,” she pleaded, tears of happiness and sadness cascading down her cheeks.

“Of course I will silly. How could I ever leave and forget you?” I replied, the tears flowing freely out of my eyes and onto my cheeks now.

I was still unsure of what option to pick, though. This was going to be one difficult decision. But I knew one thing for sure – and that’s that I was in love Johnathon and I surely did not want to hurt him.

The next few days went past without incident. Charles left to return back to the war. I was pleased he had left. I wasn’t sure how much more I could take of his abuse. He was nothing compared to Johnathon. Charles had evil blood flowing through his veins. There was something wrong with that man. Something must have happened to him to make him so hateful towards women. Or maybe it was just me. I didn’t know and to be honest I didn’t care anymore.

Johnathon and I took our relationship to the next level a few weeks after Charles left. I mean, we’d already done “everything,” but we had decided to spend the night together. Johnathon came up with an excuse to get away from his parents for the night. He then snuck into the house after dark and we spent the night together, just the two of us. It was the most romantic evening I had ever experienced.