Fifty Shades Deeper

chapter nineteen

This is only a short chapter, I have so much college work to do it's unbelievable! I got reffered on one of my assignments cause it stressed me out so I rushed it but now I have to do it again along with nine other pieces of work... Yay!

Sorry for keeping you waiting and only giving you this, and I hope it answers a few questions, but asks several more ;)

Oh.

My head.

“Jay?” Grace’s voice echoed through the apartment and practically ripped my head apart.

I shoved a pillow over my face, hoping to just slip into a nice coma for a little while, until the headache wore off.

I heard my bedroom door open. “There you are.” I hear Grace say as she sits on my bed, rocking me slightly which does nothing but make me want to throw up.

“Can you go away, I’m busy dying.” I mutter from beneath my pillow.

“Don’t be so dramatic, you didn’t even drink last night… Where’s Lily, I thought she would be here…” Grace trails off as she leaves my room.

Lily…

Why do I feel like I’m missing something?

I sit up slowly, squinting in the daylight that was leaking into my room from the crack in my curtains.

“I need a shower.” I mumble to myself. I climb wobbly to my feet and head into my bathroom, where I let the hot water of my walk in shower cover me, washing away the feelings of guilt and anger from last night.

By Monday morning, Lily is the only thing I can think about; I hadn’t heard from her all weekend, and the thought of seeing her in class today made me want to be sick with the nerves I felt.

What would she say to me?

Would she say anything at all?

I took calming breaths as I pulled into the car park, Eric looking over at me with a look of concern on his face; I had told him Lily and I had a falling out when he wouldn’t stop asking me about her.

I nod, cutting the engine and getting out of my car, Eric following me.

“Do you think you will sort it out today, I mean you have classes with her all day.” He suggests to me.

I shake my head. “It’s not as simple as that Eric.” I sigh.

“Well, I’ll meet you back here at half four, me you and Grace will go out for dinner tonight.” He says with a big Eric smile.

I nod, not wanting to voice why I just wanted to go home and be alone again.

I wave as he heads off to the business block and I bravely go into the art block.

Okay, where is she…

I looked around, looking for her long brown hair, her big brown eyes, and her small innocent smile; but there was no sign of her, maybe she was late, feeling as nervous as I was.

Half an hour into Alaric’s lesson I knew she wasn’t coming.

She had chickened out of facing me…

Coward.

Anger filled me again; how could she run away from seeing me? Was she ashamed?

I concentrated on my drawing; a girls eye. I used my finger to smudge the grey pencil into detail, getting lost in the way it seemed to look out of the page.

Sitting back and looking at it, I wanted to punch my hand through it; it was her eye.

“Are you okay?” A voice asked from behind me, snapping me out of my little angry bubble.

“Yes.” I said tightly, answering Alaric’s question.

“I don’t suppose Miss Heirs told you why she wouldn’t be in class today, she didn’t leave a message at the office either.

I looked up at him, my face bemused. “Why would she tell me?” I almost laughed.

“Well after what we spoke about the other night, I thought you would go to speak to her; to sort your differences.” He looked down at me; and I had to wonder how this man could drown his sorrows in drink, he was so bright inside.

“What we spoke about?” My head ached trying to remember our drunk ramblings.

“Yes, do you not remember?” He asked, sitting on a stool beside me; the rest of the class were too engrossed in their work to pay us any attention.

“Unfortunately, I haven’t had the years of experience that you have with a drunken mind.” I inform him.

“Ah yes, of course.” He laughed, and looked at my picture. “That’s very good.” He commented.

“What did we speak about?” I pressed.

Alaric looked at me, his brows furrowing. “Her mother’s suicide.”

How could I forget that!

I leapt to my feet and ran from the classroom, pulling my phone from my pocket; everything becoming clear in my head; the phone call, the message, how scared she sounded, every little insane detail.

“This world is a mad place, Jason, and some people cannot fight the insanity.” I listened to his slurred words as I nursed my last drink.

“When we heard the screaming, we ran inside and saw it.” He took a large gulp of his drink, his eyes glazing over as if he were back in the memory, seeing it all again.

“She was sick; voices in her head, that is what drove Mark to drink, and I don’t blame him, but that night, no amount of drink could erase what we all saw, what Lily had to see.” He was staring at the wall behind me, his eyes unmoving.

“What happened?”  I asked, feeling very warm from the alcohol.

“She killed herself; cut herself so many times she bled to death, holding Lily to her as she slipped away.”  He downed the rest of his drink. “We came in minutes before she died, Lily was covered in her blood, and screaming to be let go, and for that second, I could see the same madness that was in her mothers’ eyes in her own.  Mark pulled Lily from her and tried to cover the cuts, to stop the bleeding but it was too late, and that’s when Lily ran for the ocean, I left as Mark chased after her; I had seen enough, and  I needed to forget it all.”

“So both Mark and Lily are innocent of her death then.” I laughed, finding it all so funny.

How could I forget that!

I dialled my voicemail and listened to the message again.

“Jay, please answer, I need your help, please Jay…” She sobbed down the phone. “I don’t know where he’s taking me Jay, I’m scared. I need you.”

Shit.

Someone had Lily.

I felt disgusting, like I was going to throw up; so I did, right on the pavement next to my car.

I dialled another number, the only one I could think of.

“Jay, hey.” Teds voice filled my ear. “You need to come down, Lily’s in trouble.” I say, my voice sounded panicked, and thankfully Ted didn’t ask questions.