Fifty Shades Deeper

Chapter Thirteen

“Did my dad ever meet your mom?” I ask as we lay together on the sunbed, resting in the wake of her past.

“I don’t know.” She said honestly. “My mom was just a normal person, she wasn’t a part of your dads company, she didn’t attend big events like Mark did, she stayed home with me.”

I pulled her tighter against me as the night wind grew slightly colder.

“My mom told me a story about my dad one night when I was a kid. I couldn’t sleep, my dad was angry and he had shouted at me, it scared the shit out of me, honestly. My mom came into my room and laid down with me and stroked my hair, she said he had a difficult childhood and didn’t want that for me. She said his mom died when he was little, but I didn’t find out until a few years later that she died of an overdose, and her boyfriend used to hurt him.” I said, suddenly noticing how similar the two were.

“Your dad must have hurt a lot.” She whispered.

“Sometimes I can see he is still hurting, just like you are.” I say.

“It won’t go away, will it?” She asks.

I shrug, not knowing an honest answer. “It gets easier to live with though; you fill one void with something else.” I reply.

“Replace?” She asks.

“Not necessarily, you can never replace your mom, but you can fill the hole she left with someone else’s love.” I say.

“My mom left a big hole, that’s a lot a love.” She says with a soft smile.

I smile, not answering.

In such a short time, this girl lying beside me meant more than what I ever expected she would.

I wanted to fill that void in her chest, make her pain go away, and make her feel loved.

But how can I when I don’t know what she’s thinking.

Is she still here because she owes me in her mind, or does she truly want to be here?

“When I have children, I want to stay with the dad, and if I don’t, I don’t ever want to remarry.” She says surely, and that makes something trigger in my mind.

“Speaking of children, we haven’t exactly been careful…” I say, slightly scared.

She giggles and looks up at me. “Don’t worry; I’ve been on the pill since I was sixteen.” She assures me.

“Oh, good, I should have said something before though, imagine if you weren’t.” I laugh slightly and she grins.

“What do you want to do now?” I ask.

She looks up at me again; the spark in her eyes brighter under the moonlight, and a mischievous smile covers her lips. “I can think of a few things.” She says before reaching up and kissing me hard, and moans into my mouth.

“How is it?” Lily calls to me from the sunbed while I pad out into the black water of the ocean.

“Freezing!” I shout back with a laugh. It was way past midnight now and the water was colder than ice, but still had that strange warm blanket feel that only the ocean had.

“You looks so pretty!” She calls to me, making me laugh.

“Why thank you.” I say modestly. “Although I would have used a different word to pretty.”

“Oh really? Like what?” She asks.

“Oh I don’t know, handsome, gorgeous, god like. The list is endless.” I say mockingly with a wink and she laughs out loud.