"Si get the damn phone." Quan groaned in my ear.
I blindly searched for my ringing cell phone that woke me up from my deep sleep. Whoever it was didn't get the memo that I wasn't trying to answer the phone after the first time they called. Once my hand touched the ringing device, the sound stopped.
I tapped the screen to wake it up and before I could check my missed calls, they were calling again.
"Hello?" I croaked out after clearing my voice.
"Nini?" Jas checked.
"Yeah, it's me. Who else would answer?"
"I don't know, are you up?"
I rolled my eyes and sat up. "Would I be talking to you if I wasn't? C'mon man, you're acting weird."
"We have to go home and-" She paused.
"And what? Spit it out Jasmine because I know that something is wrong." I spoke calmly.
"Grandpa died." She said after a beat of silence, making my whole heart drop.
I let out a small laugh. "Jasmine quit playing. I just talked to him the other day."
"I'm not playing. I'm driving home with James and Khalil so you can ride if you'd like since we pass you. We plan on leaving late tomorrow night when he gets off work."
"Okay, I'll ride with you guys. I can't handle driving myself." I told her. We went over more details before hanging up.
I sat staring at the wall wondering how this was possible. I mean, I had just talked to him on the phone. I had made plans for me to go and visit home in a couple of weeks with Julianna. I wanted my family to meet her and it was going to be his seventy fifth birthday the weekend I was arriving. My grandma had been planning a party for him and all.
Grandma.
I know she's going through it. Grandpa was her heart. I wanted so bad to call and check on her but I wasn't prepared to hear her sadness especially since I couldn't be there for her just yet.
"You alright?" Quan asked from behind me.
"Yeah but Jas just called and told me that our grandpa passed. I'm just taking it in." I mumbled.
I felt the bed moving and then Quan's arms around me. "I know you're probably not going to but you can cry."
He was right. I wasn't going to; not because I wasn't sad but because I no longer saw death as a bad thing. I mean he no longer had to deal with all the bad and wrong doings in the world. No pain or sickness.
If anything I should cry because I was still here on this earth. Not that I'm complaining but sometimes I can't take it.
"You're right. I'm not." I told him before standing and going outside.
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I finished packing my suitcase and zipped it up. I would be leaving to go back home tonight. At first I thought to leave Julianna with Justin but I decided against it. She needed me and I don't think that he is ready to keep her for a week long.
I took a seat on my bed and blew out a deep breath. This all seemed so unreal.
Besides uncle Kalani, Grandpa was my father figure. More so than he was to my siblings especially after my twins dying. I took them both the hardest and he was there every step of the way.
The only bad thing that I could say I took from him is my ability to show emotion. I put up a front to pretend that I'm happy when I'm actually sad or hold in tears when I just want to let them go. Showing deep emotions make me feel weak and vulnerable and I don't like that feeling.
