My Happiness(Yizhan) (Completed)

Chapter 32 : Insecurities

(I  don't know why, but, I felt like this song really matched with this chapter)

Xiao Zhan's Pov.

"Zhan... I think we should break up", Yibo said to me with his usual poker face.

He's kidding right! He won't leave me. He loves me. I love him. So much.

"Y-Yibo.... Don.... Don't make jokes l-like this", I said and laughed awkwardly to ease the burning sensation I'm feeling somewhere in my body.

"..... I'm not joking. We should stop. I can't be with you", he said again, but this time, with more serious tone.

I know this tone. I've known this tone since I was a kid. But..... No. Yibo....he.....he wants to breakup with me! But...but why? Something is burning inside me. It's hurting, in my chest. My eyes are getting moist. I can't breath. What's happening! No...No, I can't think about my health now. Yibo.....he said we....we should stop!

"Yibo..... Are you angry with me? Did I do something wrong? Please forgive me if I did", I said hold his hand in my palms, my voice, it's desperate. But, to my surprise he withdrew his hand.

"I'm not angry with you Zhan. And, you didn't do anything wrong. It's me who did something wrong", he said, his voice calm.

"Wh... What do you mean?!" I ask, praying internally that he won't say something I don't want to hear.

"I'm sorry Zhan. I love...someone else. I can't be with you anymore. I'm sorry. But, I really love that person. I can't be happy without her. I'm sorry. I don't deserve you, Zhan. You deserve someone who'll love only you. I'm sorry", he explained and left.

"Yibooo~~ Yi... Yibo~~ wait....Don't leave me please! I love you. I love you only since I was a kid. I can't love someone else.....I can't~~ please~~", I scream desperately, hoping for him to turn his head and look at me, but, he didn't.

What's this feeling? My heart is hurting really bad. My head is spinning. I feel like, every bones of my body is breaking. I can't see anything. My vision is blurred. Suddenly, I felt my face getting wet. Am I crying?! I want to scream. Didn't Yibo say he loves me, but then, why did he..... My tears are falling freely without any shame.

"Zhan..", I suddenly heard a familier voice. It's Yibo.

"Hey, babe. Wake up...", he called again, but what is he saying?! I can't hear him clearly.

"Zhanzhan~~hey, hon. Wake up", he said and I heard him clearly this time. But, he said wake up. That means, I'm sleeping? So, it's not real!

~~~~~

I quickly opened my eyes. I'm still on our bed. The bedroom is dimly lit. And, there he is. Yibo. Beside me, looking at me with a worried expression. I pulled him into a hug as soon as I saw him. And, I start crying. My hurt is hurting again, just like in the dream. Yibo hugged me back. He sat up with me in his arms and made me sit on his lap. I cry loudly, hugging him. He starts rubbing my back with his left hand and caressing the back of my head with his right hand, as I cry harder, burying my face in his chest.

"Shhh!! It's ok love.... It's just a nightmare. Everything is fine.... Shhh! Don't cry honey...", he said, with a soothing voice.

Yibo kept saying soothing words while rubbing my back and caressing my head until I calmed down. I stopped crying but sniffles still left my mouth from time to time.

"Are you ok, love?!" Yibo asked me and I nodded silently.

He broke the hug and cupped my face. He wiped tear stains left on my face, with both his thumbs. I know I look like a tomato now. My eyes are definitely swollen. Arrrgghh!!!! Why did I cry this much?! But... I couldn't help myself....