Ave Maria

Chapter 16

Chapter 16 – Last Straw

Beyoncé Knowles | May 14th 2020 | Hamptons, NY

I rolled over on my side feeling my face pressed into something hard. I open my eyes to see LeToya's shin in my face. I sat up seeing that we were still in the living room with food containers scattered across the floor. I got up and stretched, a loud yawn roared from my mouth.

"Who the fuck is calling whales this early?" I heard Solange mumble as she rose from off the couch. I walked pass her mushing her head then into the kitchen. I looked in the fridge and got a bottle of water. My mouth was completely dry and I need to drink something before my lips fell off.

"I see y'all finally up." I looked behind me seeing Angie walking into the kitchen. The girls followed behind her as well.

"My head hurts like a bitch." Kelly mumbled sitting down on the stool next to the island. "Girl me too! We drank way too much!" Michelle complained as she sat at the table with my sister and Toya.

"But Bey was a different story. Sis was out of it!" Toya exclaimed. I laughed as different memories of last night filled my head.

"Oh I saw and so did your husband. Boy came in here this morning fuming! Asking me why you hugged up with Chris!" I shook my head throwing the bottle in the recycle bin.

"The question is why is he coming in so late?" Michelle said what we all were thinking. I took out frozen waffles and some eggs along with some sausages from the fridge.

"Bitch that's what I wanna know. Then he gon' come in here and start arguing saying that I'm out here being a whore but why can't I have my cake and eat it too?" I sat down in the chair as I ran a hand threw my messed up hair.

"I think you should leave Bey. He came in here with marks on his neck and smelling like another woman." I bit my lip as I got into my head.

"He isn't for you Bey. He needs a woman who is a yes man and you're not that person, never been." Toya added. I listened not saying a word.

"I agree. You need to put yourself first and let go. You're just gonna hurt yourself." My sister placed her hand on mind stopping me from fiddling with them. I looked over at her as the tears blurred my sight.

"And you know if you do leave, there's a man who will love you unconditionally. I see the way he looks at you, so much love is there but you're afraid to even go there with him because you never experienced that love with a man before." Kelly walked over to me. "Yes y'all had your Summer '05 moment but y'all grown. You really need to consider what's best for you. Your daughter won't be happy in a toxic environment so you gotta do things for her most importantly." I looked down and the tears finally fell.

"What did I do wrong? Am I not enough?" I cried as I covered my face with my hands. I cried just letting out the hurt and frustration.

"I just feel so worthless. I-I-I still have nights where I think about the miscarriage an-and he doesn't even try to help!" I spoke through a shaky voice.

"I look at my daughter and get mad because she looks like him and I hate myself for that." I wiped my eyes looking ahead of me.

"I love Christopher so much but I don't know if I really want to go there as yet. I see myself with him for the rest of my life but who is to say that he won't do the same?" I looked up at the girls and they had a sympathetic look on their faces.

"I can't tell you how to feel but what I can say is just take you time with things. Make sure if you're gonna fight for your marriage, make sure he's fighting as well. As for Chris, just be real. He's gonna understand because he loves you." Kelly consoled me.

"Even tho' its finna eat at him, he gon' always be there." I smiled leaning my head back on them.

"I love y'all so much." They cooed loudly and I chuckled.

"We love you t—"

"Beyoncé! Where you at!?"

We looked at each other with raised eyebrows the looked at the entrance of the kitchen seeing Shawn staring at us with fuming eyes.

"We need to talk." I nodded my head and got up. I followed him into the yard as we stood in the hot morning sun.

"What you wanted to ta—"

"WHAT THE FUCK YOU THINK THIS IS!?" I held my cheek in shock. I blocked out everything that was happening and just let it replay as many time as my brain would let me.

I fought with myself to stop the tears but I couldn't help it. I zooned back in watching him, he stared at me with dark eyes but I didn't care. I could feel the anger building up and before I knew it I was walking back into the kitchen.

"Bitch what's wrong with your face!?" Kelly yelled. I chuckled walking to the lower cupboard to get me my special pan. I pulled out my large skillet and placed it on the stove. I lit the burned and placed it on high.

"Jesus is finna laugh more than he wept." Michelle sighed loudly. I laughed darkly to myself.

"Nigga done lost his fucking mind. Messing with the right girl." I took off the heels that were still on my feet and walked out of the room.

"I'm from 3rd Ward. He finna remember that today!" I walked into the bedroom and stripped of my clothes. I quickly changed into a pair of sweats and white t-shirt. I took off my earring but left on my wrings and silver bracelets.

I walked back into the kitchen seeing the room filled with smoke. I smiled dangerously. I turned the burner off and grabbed the rubber covered handle and walked into the back yard to see him sitting with his back facing me.

I ran up on him and went crazy.

"You got the right fuckin' one!" I yelled bringing the heated pan unto his face.

"Fuck Bey get off me!" I ignored him and continued to beat his face in with the pan. I could feel the tears running down my cheeks but I had no care for them.

"Bey! I'm sorry!" I stopped and looked at him. All the burn marks and bruises he had didn't even satisfy me.

"Fuck you and your sorry you fucking bitch!" I yelled in his face then swung on his ribs. He huffed as the air left his body but I didn't let up. I dropped then pan and got on top of him, driving my ringed knuckles into his jaw repeatedly.

"ELEVEN FUCKIN' YEARS!" I screamed punching him in his right eye. "THREE MISCARRIAGES AND A DAUGHTER!" I punched him in the other eyes and busted his lips. "JUST TO BE TREATED LIKE FUCKING TRASH IN THE END!" I pounded my fist into his nose and I heard the bone crack.

"AHH!" I got off of him and watched his bloody body lying on the grass.

"Fuck you! Get the fuck outta my house and I am done!" I shouted at him. I looked at my wedding ring on my finger and took it off. I walked over to the girls who were standing by the door watching.

I gave the ring to Solange then said, "Sell it and keep the money." I walked away but I didn't get far. I dropped to my knees and let out a loud cry.

I was feeling so many things at once but nothing felt worse than being misused and mistreated. I gave this man almost half of my life just to be the dirt under his feet. I had women coming to me from every angle saying that they had him in their beds but I was so "in love" not to actually take the time out to investigate.

If I would've known this would be the end result, I wouldn't have let it got this far. I feel like I deserved it but my conscious won't let me. I had so many opportunities to leave but I stayed because I wanted to be some hero trying to stop a generational curse but that bit me in the ass. I wanted to show my daughter that love was worth fighting for but right now the most important lesson to learn is that love is worth fighting for the same as leaving can be the best option.

I felt the girls wrap a hand around me. I cried even harder just letting the years of emotional abuse