Untouchable

While We're Young

A/N: I'm really sorry this took fifteen years... but senior year sucks ass.

Also, I've been super busy writing for another project, and I'm super excited to announce I've been published!

You can check out my book "Five Seconds" at bookappisodes.com, or you can download the app!

This story is coming to a close... however long that may take, but the next update may be the ending.

Also lol at that one time I said I would update before MT put out their next album... I guess slow updates aren't just their problem.

Enjoy :)

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The way your words hang in the moment suspended when

It's motion stopping seeing people resuscitate your father. Men playing with life and death while a woman tries to determine whose blood you're covered in; but I didn't feel anything. It was only me and my father and life and death.

It's heart stopping when they call for the defibrillator. It knocks you off your feet when strangers in neon green vests scramble over to your dad lying on the cold and wet ground and shock him with 200 volts of electricity.

It knocks the wind out of you when they sit there repeatedly making his body convulse from the electrical current racing through him to make his heart beat again.

It's crushing seeing the only family member you have, slowly slipping away.

Even though you've never done it, you pray. You pray that he will survive. You pray that this broken mess you call family, will mend back together.

All in all, it's just plain scary.

You say something you can't take back again

And here I sat, trying to take it all in. The hospital was a scary and sad place. I couldn't wrap my head around how people would choose to fucking spend everyday working at one. I sat here terrified I was about to become a foster child while workers bustled by not even noticing my presence. How could their lives carry on when my world was bursting at the seams.

My dad was in surgery right now. They didn't say very enthusiastically what they had to do to him. They attempted to reassure me but I knew his survival chance was slim to none. That after tonight everything would be different. Maybe it was the atmosphere of the hospital that made me antsy; his dried blood on my hands that I refused to wash off; or maybe it was the fact that 16 years ago, on this very day, my mother died. I was praying history wouldn't repeat itself tonight.

The past few hours played through my head over and over again as I sat there terrified waiting for the uninvitable.

A heavy hush takes hold

It was terrifying.

The moments after impact had become a series of motions. A cellphone had miraculously landed in my lap, and an anxious dial later, an ambulance was on its way. I had sat there motionless as an onlooker thundered against the window, asking if we were okay. I sat paralyzed with fear and guilt while my father bled out. It didn't surprise me that my last words to him were of hate; but what did surprise me was the trembling guilt that that was the last he'd remember of his only daughter. Or that I had unknowingly clasped his hand in mine.

I remembered the flashing red lights zoomed into view in slow motion. The men and women rushed to the vehicle hoping to save a dead girl and an injured man. Why would those people want to save me. I caused that fucking mess. I'd spent however long waiting to die and it seemed fate once again pushed it away. I watched in a trance as a blade sliced through the car and they opened an exit from our prison.