Shake Tramp

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I was sitting alone in my silence when I heard a knock at the door. I listened as I heard my dad go down the stairs and open it. Sounds of greetings were being made. The guest voices sounded familiar.

Footsteps sounded up the steps, until they entered the living room. Unfortunately all the voices were male. I was hoping one of the guests would be Carly.

I instantly recognized Uncle Matt's voice. He wasn't really my uncle, just my dads best friend. But I guess he taught me to say 'Uncle Matt' while I was still growing up.

Same thing went for 'Uncle' Mike. He was the best uncle. Out of the four of them, he seemed to care about me the most. Maybe it was because he was so familiar with the family aspect.

Strange to say, but I'm pretty sure he was my biggest father figure.

His son Tristan was a few years older than me. He was quiet, but if you ever talked to him, he would be very polite.

Another uncle was Uncle Ian. Like the other two, he wasn't a real uncle. In fact, I hated calling him that. It seemed weird, almost in a pedophile way. I avoided all conversation with him as much as possible. He had a couple of kids as well, but I didn't talk to them much.

The last uncle, was an actual blood related one. My moms brother, Uncle Austin. We, or at least I, never heard from him much. He would be at the Christmas dinners, but he was always quiet. Strangely enough, I knew about him the least.

It sounded like Uncle Mike and Matt were here. Maybe Ian too. I didn't mean to, but what better way to eavesdrop than just sitting silently in your room?

____________________

Josh's POV

Matt and Mike had come over to talk - apparently I didn't get out enough. I was just fine with my usual habits of staying in the house, I could almost feel the presence of my wife in here. I was scared that if I left for too long, I would loose that presence. Home was safe. Home had memories; but home was also sad.

I brought the guys into the living room, and we all sat in the couches.

This felt all too familiar. The guys surrounding me, a meeting being held in place. The familiarity of it was way too scary.

Did I let you down to get that sound, and break my knees to get release

They surround me. It's like a claustrophobic bubble. They are a black hole, trying to suck me into darkness.

Except, my world already is pretty dark. I can't see the light at the end of this road. I'm terrified it will lead me to places I haven't been to in years.

They try to help me. I know they do. But it's impossible to fill the gap in my heart. They help a lot with taking care of the baby, but now that my band has surrounded me, I know that they want to talk.

Carly is here as well. She is feeding Taylor her milk through a bottle. She helps more than others. She's like a mother almost. She cleans the house, and takes care of the baby a lot. I couldn't be more grateful; although I'm sure I don't show it.

Mike is sitting on the love seat beside Carly. Ian and Matt took the bigger couch. I am curled up on the floor. My back is to the wall, my knees are curled up to my chest. I stare down at nothing.

"Well, I'm sure we all regretted this day coming, but it's March now, and I can feel everybody getting antsy," Mike starts.

Yeah. Everybody but me. I don't feel emotion, unless its pain; because I feel a lot of that, and it's squishing me like a bug.

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