Never Grow Up

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A/N: Cry Fest.

And I've attached the video that is mentioned in this chapter.

Enjoy :) kinda. maybe. yes. :/

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"Come on Tay, lets go see Mommy," I say, my voice cracking at the thought of her mother.

Your little hands wrapped around my finger and it's so quiet in the world tonight

I lift her out her car seat, and set her down on the ground. I close the door, and grab her little hand. Her tiny hand just barely wrapping around my two fingers. I crouch down to her size, and give her a bouquet of flowers to hold.

Taylor learned to walk about a month ago. I wish her mom could've been there to see it. She would've been so excited.

My baby is almost two years old now. For most babies, they begin walking around ten months. But Taylor was a preemie, so she still had tons more developing to do.

To you everything's funny

I scan her clothing to make sure she'll be protected from the cold. I pick her up and start heading to the grave. The couple inches of snow make a crunching sound underneath my shoes. Row upon row I walk. I follow the path around a building, and head up a secluded hill. It's a small one that can be easily concealed by the naked trees. There at the top, I see her headstone. It sits next to a tall maple tree, bare from the winter.

I sit on a protruding root that breaks the surface of the thin snow, across from the grave.

"Sweetie, do you want to give the flowers to mommy?" I ask as I set her down.

She waddles over and lays the forget-me-nots against the grave. She tumbles back into my arms. It wasn't a far walk, just my arms reach. She is still getting used to walking. I sit her on my lap.

I reach over and brush the snow off the letters.

"In loving memory of Taylor Alison Swift 13/12/89 - 9/12/14," it reads.

You've got nothing to regret

The world seems quiet. Like it too, died. And maybe it did; but only the world that surrounds me, not everyone else.

It is only times like this, where I become a good father. Maybe it's because sitting next to my wife makes me feel like my family is complete. At home I am empty. Only here, sitting next to my wife's grave do I ever feel her.

"Well Tay, say hi to Mommy," I tell her.

"Hi Mommy," she says with a small wave.

"Hi Taylor. It's us again," I begin talking to the gravestone. "Been almost two years now. Nothing much has changed except for the little one."

I pull her toque down over her ears to keep them warm.

"She looks so much like you. Same baby blue eyes, curly blond hair. I can see your face when she smiles. We miss you," I can feel the tears coming already.

I'd give all I have honey, if you could stay like that

"Miss you, Mommy," Tay struggles to say.

I smile. It was sweet to see the precious thing talking to her mom like she understood perfectly what happened.

Oh darling don't you ever grow up

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