Untouchable

Stay

Do you ever just cry for no reason? You feel a deep amount of pain in your chest and you just can't put reason to it. You get confused, and lost, because no one - not even yourself - understands. Nothing goes your way; nothing's ever right.

Well New Years brought all the reasons for the pain, the random spurts of tears. New Years was a new beginning, a restart; and every time, that new beginning, that better life - it never came. New Years made me feel more lonely than ever. While everyone else was out partying with family, or friends, I was all alone stuck in my bedroom - I didn't even have a cat to accompany me this year.

I'll lay my tears on the windowsill

I lay in my bed, staring at the bright moon lighting my bedroom through the window. I wondered about the new year, what it would bring me. It'd be great if it could bring change - the good kind too. Knowing my luck, I'd get the bad; if my life could even get worse. Where was my new beginning? Would anyone even give me that chance? Could I ever just throw my life away, and begin again, a different person, with a different family that had a different past.

The mental pain I dealt with was physical. It was a relentless beating to me. I was trapped, and there were so many things preventing me from escaping. I could barely breathe, I was suffocating from everything that was beating me. The bullies at school, the love that was stolen from me; the loneliness.

I choked back a sob as a sudden thrust of pain hit me. The loneliness was the worst. I could escape from my hate filled dad, I could escape the bullies, but, funny enough, I couldn't escape the loneliness. Freedom was my prison. Everybody had someone but me. In a world full of billions of people, there was not one person who could . . . stay. Who could be there for me, support me, want me. No one could stay just for me. Someone else was their first choice, I was their last - if I was a choice at all.

I'll only cry till I get over you

This year had really sucked. It had gone from bad to worse, and it was all my fault. All because I decided to speak up to an arrogant piece of shit. I was bullied, all because I showed the queen of the Barbies up; I had no one to tell me that it'd get better. Not like anyone really knew - I was way to embarrassed to tell. The great daughter of Taylor Swift and Josh Ramsay couldn't get one single fucking friend. I was an outcast. Too weird for people to handle or something.

But how long will it take me...

I wanted to cut, to relieve this pain -- to let it escape. But I knew, that no matter how much I tore my body apart, I would never rid this pain. This pain was a dull ache; coming from deep, deep, within. It was like a poison, spreading through every vein, cooling my arteries. Blocking the flow of life. It was a dull ache of disappointment.

Won't you save me... and, stay...

Booming noises erupted from outside, and I looked to my clock to see it was now 12am. I looked out my window at the glowing embers in the sky. Fresh tears welled in my eyes, as I watched the party that I was missing. I felt a sort of, betrayal almost. Like everyone was invited to a party but me. That wasn't exactly the case. My case was that I had no party to go to, because I had no friends, or family that cared for me. I was, missing out on life.

Fuck everything.

_________________

Josh's POV

A loud boom awoke me from my restless sleep. Fear crept over; was there an intruder in the house? Was Taylor alright? The boom sounded again, followed by more cracks and pops. My senses cleared and I realized they were just fireworks. I looked at the digital clock on my nightstand: 12:15. I sighed. There were once New Years that brought laughter and happiness; love.