Untouchable

Don't You Remember

What happened?

I was once on top of my game. I felt like I was king of the world - then it all shattered. I fell, but only to my knees. I struggled, but I stayed so strong, and kept on fighting.

Perhaps the only reason I did was because I had something to fight for.

But now I've crashed. There is no more me, anymore. I am nothing but a shadow, wallowing in the past. I have nothing to live for now.

When will I see you again?

I am sitting in an alcove at my old high school. I haven't been to the place in years; it brings back many bad memories.

In one hand I hold a knife. The other, a phone.

Today, I am going to kill myself.

I don't care who I'll leave behind. The main point is, I have nothing to live for. There is no future for me now. No more good will come from me. I know at this point, things will only get worse.

Might as well end it now.

I am supposed to meet everyone at the hospital, but I never want to see one of those places again. I'm sure they are probably wondering where I am.

But it doesn't matter - I don't care. In all due time I won't be anywhere, because I'll be dead.

I press a few buttons on my phone, and bring it up to my ear. It rings and rings and rings, until it finally reaches the voicemail.

"Hey this is Taylor. I can't answer the phone right now, but please leave a message and I'll call you right back!"

The tone buzzes, I hang up. For the few days since she died, I have been calling her voicemail everyday, because it is the only way I can hear her voice now.

You left with no goodbye

I sit frozen in place. The cold wind doing nothing to faze me.

My life has destructed before my eyes. How could so much bad happen to one family?

Family. Good god what happened there?

Not a single word was said

Before I can dig myself anymore deeper into depression, I place the knife on my wrist, ready to do it.

I think about doing a few shallow cuts, just for old times sake, but my main point here isn't to feel again. It is to feel nothing but the dirt I am to be burried in.

I push down slightly, and see the knife make an indent on my wrist. So close to ending it. So close.

I take a deep breath, and build up the courage. It isn't really courage I need, but rather, I am taking it all in. Bracing myself for the death I already feel.

Any last thoughts don't need to be said, because nothing's worth saying. Everything I need to say, needs to be said to someone that's already dead. There is only one way to do that.

But then my phone rings. It catches me off gaurd, and distracts me from my current task.

I stare at the screen. Matt's name shows up, along with his face. It reminds me of the time I took the picture. I would never be able to get that back.

Should I say goodbye to him?

He is probably looking for me. Worried for me. It would be the noble thing to do, say goodbye, but he would probably stop me. He'd try to talk me out of it, and then I'd feel guilty.