Stuck with the Bad Boy | ✔️

14. With Every Breath I Breathe

Authors Note:

It's an absolute must listen to the song Saturn with this chapter. It makes everything so must better. I made my best friend preview this chapter and she almost cried. Without the song, the results would not be near the same. :)

On another note, I will, from now on, be updating chapters as soon as I get them done. My every Friday schedule is getting annoying. So that's why this is being updated early. Another reason is that I couldn't wait any longer to post the chapter. It's one of my favorites both to write and to read.

Thanks! ;)

~ Nyx S.

•Phoenix•

A heartbeat rings through my mind. It's a simple sound. Just a thrum that proves life. But when you look deeper, you can see the true complexity in its existence. Life is a complex and misunderstood subject. How are we to know if it is truly there or complete fiction, created by satan to tease us? Maybe we're all just stuck in our minds, wishing up dreams that are to distant to be reality. But if I'm living in a dream, I never want to wake. I want to live in this fantasy for eternity.

And as I contemplate theory's of life, the heartbeat goes on. Reminding me that dream or not, life is going to continue.

My eyes flutter open, warm light showering around us. Luca and I that is. His hand is playing with a strand of my hair as I'm stretched across him.

The comforter is down around our waists. I can see the light shining off of miscellaneous metallic objects around the room.

The heartbeat that has yet to fade belongs to my other half. My beloved. My Luca.

I move my head slightly so I can look at him. My wavy strands of light brown hair spread across his bare chest. His stone gray eyes are fixated on me, the beginnings of a smile touching the edges of his lips.

He's quiet, just watching me. His touch sets my skin up in flames. It burns me, but yet I yearn for more. More of him.

My eyes flicked to the shimmering window. I can't exactly see the vivid blue of the sky but I can see the puffs of white clouds and yellow glaze.

I close my eyes again, taking a deep breath. I want to stay here forever. Wrapped in his arms.

I know it will end and I don't get to stay forever, so I'll just have to cherish the precious time I have with him.

I can feel each breath he takes as if it is my own. Slowly, our heartbeats align and they become one in the same.

I've always felt like some piece of life's puzzle was missing for me. Like my song was out of place. The music I was singing needed to become something more than it was.

It was never supposed to be a solo. It was a harmony all along. I had just never heard the other notes.

Luca completed my harmony, even when I had yet to hear the perfect piece we made.

Life is complex, as I said. But love is even more so. When a heart breaks, more pain exists than could ever be given by physical wounds. But when love finds a way to work out, everything becomes clear as crystal and you see that the torture it took to get there was worth it.

It's a confusing subject, but then again, most subjects that connect in deeper ways than words, are.

When I went through the torture of almost losing him, it was unbearable. But now, looking back on those moments, I see that without them, I would never have gotten him. So if I could do it over again, I would go through that pain again and again. I would want to go through it.

Love is more complex because even though we may not see it, we desire the pain. It's what reminds us that it's real. We desire the very thing that kills us.

I open my eyes to look around again at what my pain had gotten me.

In the few moments that my eyes are open I realize that tears had escaped my eyes. Luca's deep voice was quiet when he spoke. "Why are you crying?" His thumb brushed across my cheek, wiping away one of the tears that had strayed.

"This is just a turning page in my life. I'm not alone anymore. I didn't know what I was living for." Another tear fell. "It finally clicked." My voice was barely a whisper. And if I had not been so close to him, he would not have heard.

"I exist for you alone, Darling. And how beautiful it is to exist for you. I desire nothing more than to be yours. And with Every breath I breathe, and every beat of my heart I say this, I love you. I'll carry on endlessly, just loving you. I'd give anything to be your infinite." As he speaks my tears only grow stronger. His words steal my breath from me. So much so that I don't even have the strength to respond.

And for so long, we just sit there, looking into each other's eyes. As if the world around us is no longer there and outside this room, the world is blank. And to us, it truly is blank. Like a canvas we have yet to paint. But even if we never get to paint that canvas, we're perfectly happy with what we have now.

His eyes reflect my emotions. He's a mirror to me. Yet we are so different.

He's beautiful, brave, kind, and perfect.

And here I am. Little old me.

But he loves me anyways.

•*•*•*•*•

~ Nyx S.