Answer To My Life

t e n

The next morning, I'm refueled and I feel ready to handle anything that comes my way. I handle my irritating brothers and my mom's bad attitude. I even calmly deal with my dad's weird actions. I'm left by my parents to babysit my two brothers, which basically means that I hand them their video games and I get to do whatever I want.

I head to my bedroom, closing the door behind me as I cheer at the small victory of being alone.

Elliot calls me, and immediately asks, "can I come over?" when I answer.

I tell him that he'll have to sneak in through my bedroom window. He gladly accepts that and a half an hour later, he's climbing into my window.

"Thank you for last night," I tell him when he settles in.

"No problem! Now, tell me, what are you going to do?"

"What do you mean?"

He slaps his own forehead as if it's the most obvious thing in the world, saying, "you have to find out who Sea is! Show me her Tumblr."

"No!" I tell him. "Our Tumblr accounts are very private and personal. She wouldn't want a stranger to see her blog."

"What if I know her in person? Maybe I can figure out who she is based off of what she posts."

To be honest, I can't exactly argue against that logic so I open up my computer, pulling up her blog. He investigates every single post of hers and after a few hours of discussing, neither of us are able to come up with any leads.

"She's definitely into girls. There's no way she isn't," Elliot comments.

"Why do you think that?" I ask, shocked.

"Idalia! Are you lacking gaydar or something? Not even, this is literally common sense. Have you seen how many pictures of girls she posts? She's like, obsessed with girls."

"Some straight girls do that?" I suggest.

Elliot shakes his head and says, "the amount of gay panic that exists in her blog is truly astounding."

"Shut up! You don't know her like I do."

"Let me look through some of the conversations you've had with her," he tells me.

"No, those are very private an-"

"Why hide them? Were you two sexting?" He questions immediately.

"Shut up! Those are private and I don't want you to see them. I've told her things that I've never mentioned to you."

"Are we not best friends?" He asks, seeming super offended as he gasps.

I roll my eyes and say, "fine. Just a few texts."

I open up one of our conversations, and he reads through them as if it's entertainment. All that's missing is him holding a bucket of popcorn with a side of soda.

"Alright, that's enough!" I tell him after a few minutes.

"Idalia, I don't want to seem rude but..." he trails off.

"What? You're always rude. Just tell me."

"You really do fit that stereotype of a useless lesbian. She's clearly into you!"

"No, she isn't."

He points at one text on the screen, explains, "no one just says that kind of stuff. 'I wish I was with you.' 'I wish I could kiss someone but I don't know how to tell them that.'"

"Stop."

"The person she's talking about kissing is you," he declares.

"You don't know that!"

"Maybe I don't know that for sure, but what I do know for sure is that's some gay shit," he tells me.

He starts to laugh, and I can't help but start giggling too.

Somehow, I feel hopeful now.

Sea might actually be into girls. She could be into me.

I start to talk to Elliot again, but we're interrupted by the loud sound of my bedroom door opening up.

Terrified, we both freeze as Lucas walks in.

"Who is that?!" He asks. "I'm calling mom!"

"No, Lucas, don't!"

I'm too late though, because he grabs my phone without me realizing and starts dialing. I'm able to hear my mom's angry voice who demands that both me and 'the boy' stay there.

Elliot starts to laugh a little but when I shoot him a death stare, he silences himself. Soon enough, both of my parents arrive home. I'm scared of what they'll say as they stomp to my bedroom, slamming open the door as if I'm some kind of criminal.

"What the hell do you think you're doing, Idalia?" My dad harshly asks.

"Not me," Elliot whispers.

I don't resistant the urge to slap him this time, so I punch his arm.

"Get your hands off of each other! You two should be ashamed of being together while two children are in the house!" My mom scolds both of us.

"I mean, you weren't ashamed of doing it when I was an innocent child who didn't know what it meant. Nine months later, I had two annoying brothers."

My mom is taken aback but then says, "you two are immature teenagers who can't control yourselves."

"Lady, your daughter and I weren't doing anything," Elliot speaks up.

"Why were you two together then?" My dad asks.

Elliot looks at me for a second, where I'm practically screaming at him with my eyes to not out me.

He takes a deep breath and says, "I'm gay, sir."

My dad's face changes immensely until it finally calms, prompting him to say, "thank god. As long as my daughter is still innocent."

My mom does a sign of the cross on herself, then tells Elliot, "thank you."

Elliot simply says that it's no problem, while I'm wondering to myself what the fuck is going on.

"You're not against him being gay?" I squeak out.

My parent's stares lay on me, and I already regret speaking up.

My mom responds, "no. Why would we be?"

I take another impulsive act and say, "then I have something to tell you."

Elliot is shocked but holds my hand, squeezing it two times as a sign of support.

"What is it?" My dad questions.

After what feels like forever, I let out a breath that I had been holding in and I say, "I'm a lesbian."