mortality | uta

Twelve

Ayame

...

I shouldve been more careful, more alert, more observant then none of this couldve happened. I risked my best friend in danger and exposed people she isnt supposed to know just yet. Miscalculations were never a hindrance to me but somehow it managed to become one just 2 days ago.
Urie took the news well as he promised to become more careful when around Charlotte about the things from the past.

I am angry at myself for letting things get out of hand especially now that Charlotte started asking questions regarding the events that day and especially, what he said. However, I was surprised when she told me about the nostalgia she felt, the dream she saw and the all too vivid familiarity of everything. So it is starting, just as what we all feared.
There are so many what ifs in this situation but what we cant bear to see  the girl we know, crumble. We knew it has to happen anytime soon and we were prepared to face the consequences of our secrets, Sebastian, Elijah and I. 

" Ayame?" a voice interrupted my walk heading to where Shuu and Charlotte are.
I turned to see another reason of my head aches. My past lover, how foolish was I to even call him that.

" What are you doing here?" I ask him, his eyes were wide, unbelieving.

" So its really you. Youre really here huh." he mumbles, more to himself than at me

" I am. If you arent gonna say anything else. Ill get going." I turn back and as soon as I began walking, the shuffles of footsteps followed me.

" We need to talk Ayame. Ive been hearing news about your return and hers." He catches up to me in no time with strides twice as mine, his hand gripping my wrist tightly.

" I have nothing to tell you!" I tug my wrist away from him. I took a steps back and glared with every hatred I can muster

" Atleast tell me why did you leave." He pleads, trying to grab my hand again but I only step farther away. He was quick to mask the hurt and soon gave way to annoyance, his everyday mood.

" I left because I wanted to. I had to save Charlotte and I left because of you." I bluntly state, although it scratched at my heart stating those words.

"Me?! What the fuck did I ever do?" he starts to yell

" Because you drove me away to the point I didnt want to come back! I was done, I was hurting and you never gave two fucks about me, how I felt! Hell, you even left me during the fight that almost killed me if it werent for Ken. Thats why I fucking left." I belted out, my hands tightly balled up as my body shook.

" I.. I didnt know." he whispers

" Well now you do, you shithead." I spat and turned to walk away again

"Im sorry!" I can hear him yell from behind me "Im sorry I was a pathetic excuse for a partner, Im sorry I wasnt there for you, Im sorry I drove you away, Im sorry I left you!"

" Dont guilt trip me with your apologies because I dont need them. " I hissed but didnt turn as a few stray tears leaked from my eyes, I quickly dried them up.

"I love you Ayame! Please give me another chance to set things straight."

" I dont think its even worth it anymore." I shook my head

" Ill prove it to you." he states firmly to which makes me seethe even more

" Dont." I continue down the path, the distance drowning out his voice. I took a few turns as I tried to settle the pain in my chest. This isnt what I expected him to be after all these years but as time goes by, change is inevitable to everyone and everyone.
A view of brunette and purple hair awaited me on the bank of the lake.

I sat down beside Charlotte who smiled at me. Im glad they havent noticed my slightly red eyes.

" Im sure you have questions." I begin to prepare myself for whatever reaction she's gonna give. It was now or never. Shuu was more than willing to help.

" Dont be so tense, Ayame. Its alright." she assured me.
I wish it was for you Charlotte.
"Lets start from the day we got here. At anteiku. They seem to know me."

" Sure." I proceed to tell her why they were so familiar with her. How she was friends with them in the past, how she loved to hang out there whenever she gets a break from work. Not caring if they were ghouls or not. I told her how she lost some of her memories but leaving out the majority of everything that really transpired six years ago. It is up to her to remember the rest, its her choice of she wants to hold onto those or let go.

" I see." she nods sincerely, as if it werent trivial. She took it quite well. " Ayame, what if I told you I want to recall those memories that went missing."

" Then we'll help you." I reply, as much as it pains me so, I have to. "Shuu and I."

"Thank you Ayame." her mouth once again curled into a smile " But what did Uta mean when he said he's not gonna let it happen again?"

I stilled, my eyes darting around till I found Shuu's, he gave me a solemn nod, his eyes telling me to go on and just spare her this one information that I wanted to keep desperately to myself.

" You were once his light Charlotte."